


Remember

by Jayde_Amali



Series: Stephen Jameson is screwed verse [4]
Category: The Tomorrow People (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Grief, Learning to Trust Again, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mentions of past child abuse, memory sharing, mentions of domestic violence, this is not a happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 05:38:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayde_Amali/pseuds/Jayde_Amali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephen has to learn to cope with losing Jedikiah. Reading the other stories in the series will help considerably in understanding this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based on a poem by Christina Rossetti titled "Remember".
> 
> Please take note. This is not a happy story.

Stephen sat on the couch staring off at nothing. He hadn't done anything in the past day, including taking a shower. It was the first time he'd been left alone. He knew Rebecca was worried about him, but he showed no sign of stupidity, so she had left him alone with strict orders to take a shower and get some sleep. He'd had to ask his mother to leave several times before she did. He knew they were worried about him. It had been one day since Jedikiah had died. He was severely depressed and he knew it. Now that he was alone, he thought he could start to really grieve. His eyes drifted to the scrapbook they had been working on together. He pulled it over and opened it to a random page. It was the page they had dedicated to the day they were married. Their marriage certificate was on one side of the page and pictures on the other side. He shoved it away and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself tightly as if he could hold himself together.

It occurred to Stephen that he didn't have to go through this alone and he didn't want to. He knew who he wanted with him right now and it wasn't Rebecca or his mom. He reached along the connection he had with Cara. 'Cara? I need to talk to John. Tell him to come to me at home? Please? No tricks, no trap, I just need to talk to him.' He knew his depression and sorrow was being sent as well.

It took a few minutes and there was no response from Cara, but there was a knock on the door. Stephen stood and went to open the door.

John stood there. He took one look at Stephen and what he'd thought happened was confirmed. He was inside, closing the door, right before Stephen broke down. John just pulled Stephen into his arms and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Stephen."

Stephen couldn't answer. He clung to the one link he still had to Jedikiah. Sure, they were at odds, but John was the only person to really understand how much he had loved Jedikiah. John had been there too.

John led Stephen to the couch and sat him down. He noticed the scrapbook, doing a double take at the page. He sat next to Stephen. "How long ago?"

"Yesterday." Stephen barely managed to whisper the word.

John rested his hand on the back of Stephen's neck. "Have you decided on when the funeral will be?"

Stephen nodded, sniffling and wiping tears away with his shirt sleeve. "Tuesday afternoon." He tried to regain some composure.

John nodded and gently rubbed the back of Stephen's neck. "I know I have no business asking, but I'd like to be there if it's possible."

Stephen looked at John for a long moment before sighing. "Security is going to be tight. Not my decision." He looked away. "I'm expected to take his place, you know."

John nodded again. "I still want to be there. Stephen, I know how much you loved him. I know how much he loved you. I don't want to step on that, but I want to be able to say goodbye to him. I know my being there could cause a problem, and if it will, I'll..."

Stephen held up a hand to stop John from talking. It took him a moment before he could find his voice. "One day. I'll give you one day. Tuesday. No one will do anything to you. Today, tomorrow and on Wednesday and beyond, it's open season, John, and if I have been given a direct order, I have to obey it. I can't undo everything you've done unless you come back to Ultra, but I will make sure you have the one day. Temporary cease-fire."

John nodded and took in a deep breath. "Thank you, Stephen."

A knock on the door made both of them jump. Stephen got up and went to open it. Rebecca stood there. "Stephen, we had reports of John Young in the area. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and he wasn't trying to take advantage..." Then she looked past Stephen.

Stephen sighed. "Rebecca, don't. Just don't. John had a right to know. I'm going to clear him for Tuesday." He could see Rebecca start to form an argument. "No. Jed was John's lover for a while. He has a right to be there. No one will bother him."

Rebecca looked at John for a long moment, seeing the pain there. She nodded then. "I'll add him to the list." She looked back at Stephen. "I hope you know what you're doing, Stephen."

Stephen nodded. "On this, I do. I'm also willing to offer all of them full amnesty at any time if they choose to come to us." He looked over at John. "No tests. No drugs. No Annex Project. No questions asked."

John raised his brows and stared at Stephen for a moment before shaking his head. "We can't, Stephen. You know that. We can't hunt down our own kind. Not if we're going to hurt them."

Stephen sighed and looked at Rebecca. "I'll be fine. John won't hurt me." He looked toward John. "Will you?" It wasn't a question.

John shook his head. "No." He stood up. "Though maybe I should go."

Rebecca watched Stephen for a moment, then nodded. She looked at John. "Actually, I think your presence is what Stephen needs right now. You loved Jedikiah once, so you can understand better what he's going through."

Stephen closed the door behind Rebecca and went to sit back down. He looked up at John. "Please, don't go? She's right. You're the only one who knew him the way I do. The only other one who really loved him."

John nodded and sat back down next to Stephen. "I don't want to hurt you any more than you already are, but I have to know." He inclined his head toward the scrapbook. "Is that real?" He tried to keep the jealousy he felt out of his voice.

Stephen looked at the book, then nodded. "Yeah. Seven months ago. I knew it was coming. He'd been thinking about it for a little over a year before he finally proposed. He had the ring, but he couldn't quite get the question out. He gave me this helpless look and I knew he'd be okay with me just answering." He smiled faintly at the memory, then hunched over a bit as a fresh wave of tears hit. "I took his last name, you know. I guess it was always mine, but I wanted to have that after... You know."

John stayed silent, though when Stephen started crying again, he scooted a little closer and put an arm around the young man. He let Stephen lean in against him. He'd known Jedikiah was considering it, but hadn't known he'd finally proposed and they'd gotten married.

"When it came back a year ago, he told me that he was going to see me graduate from medical school. He did, you know. It was last month. He was already really sick then. It was the only thing he did that day. Just went to see me graduate. He couldn't do anything else. Even then, he had to use a wheelchair because walking hurt so much." Stephen closed his eyes. "But he loved every minute of it. He wanted to take me out after, but he couldn't. He was just too tired."

John was outwardly silent, but he called for Cara inwardly. 'Cara?' After getting a response, he continued. 'Jedikiah is dead.' He felt the shock from her, then the smug satisfaction that their biggest enemy was gone. 'Stephen is really hurting over this. Right now, it's not a good thing. He's lost. Completely lost. We have to be very careful right now. Stephen isn't biased against us, but if you celebrate and he finds out, he's going to turn against us out of spite.'

Stephen was lost to tears and John's shirt was getting wet. Neither of them cared. Stephen actually felt safe for the moment. He was able to grieve and didn't think about the possibility of having to look strong for others.

John was close to tears as well. He was still talking to Cara telepathically and still trying to convince her not to throw a party. He finally lost his temper. 'Damn it, Cara! I really loved Jedikiah once! He was my first lover and you know as well as I do that you never forget the first person you really loved. I don't think a celebration is acceptable. If you do it, you do it without me!' He shot her just the tip of his emotions regarding the situation. He felt her apology come through. He sighed and leaned back on the couch, letting Stephen go with him.

John did go to the funeral. He stayed in the back, trying not to notice the hostile, angry stares from the agents that spotted him. His attention stayed on the service, though he watched Stephen more than the speakers. When time came to move to the graveside, he walked up next to Stephen. He was a little surprised when Stephen's hand found his own and squeezed lightly.

Stephen couldn't really focus on anything visually that day. The tears wouldn't stop falling. He was surrounded by co-workers and only two friends. His mother and brother were there, but he held them in a different category. Instead, his two friends were Rebecca and John. He was surprised to find he considered John a friend, but maybe he shouldn't have been. Once everyone had left, including John, Stephen just stood there. Rebecca came back to get him.

John hadn't really left. Instead, he hung back, waiting for everyone to leave. He watched Rebecca lead Stephen away. When they drove off, John went back to the graveside. He sat down in one of the chairs and sighed. "Jedikiah, I wish I could get your advice right now. I don't know what to do. Stephen's willing to let us all join him. I know what you'd say though. You'd tell me to come back." He let out a strained chuckle. "If I come back, the others might follow me, but some might stay behind and call me a traitor." He shook his head. "Part of me wants to work for Stephen. The other part of me wants to tell him to go to hell." He sighed. "I wish you were still alive, Jed. I never should have left you. I never should have walked out that door." He broke down crying then. "I loved you, Jed. I still do. For you, I'll make sure Stephen is okay. I'll keep him alive for you." He fell silent and just sat there while the caretakers filled in the grave with dirt. When they were done, John stood up, placed two roses on the mound, then rested his hand on the mound. "One from me and one from Stephen. Rest easy, Jedikiah." He walked away then.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, several of John's people went to Stephen in hopes of having a somewhat normal life. John and Cara, however, both declined the offer of amnesty. They would continue to help others of their kind. Stephen suggested a meeting.

John, Cara, and Stephen sat in the noodle house in a quiet corner. Stephen had returned to work and had taken Jedikiah's place. He watched John and Cara for a moment before leaning back. He was still exhausted and emotionally drained. "What I'm going to suggest is completely off the record. While I've stopped the majority of the testing and experimental drugs, I cannot put a complete stop to removing some individual's powers. If they prove to be dangerous, then I have to act." He held up a hand. "However, I'm aware that some can be rehabilitated. If I come across someone in the category that I'm told to strip them of their abilities, but I think they can be rehabilitated, then I'll contact you. Unofficially of course. Those ones, I'll give you all the information necessary to find them. I can't go easy on you, of course, and if you're caught, I'll have to do whatever I'm given orders to do, but I'll do what I can to make sure you get there first. All others, however, it's first come, first serve, so to speak."

John and Cara seemed to consider this before John nodded. Cara, however, wasn't so quick. "How do we know we can trust you?" She narrowed her eyes at Stephen. "You picked up where Jedikiah left off, Stephen. You're acting like him." She ignored John's hand on her arm.

Stephen leaned forward toward Cara. "You know nothing about Jedikiah. You never saw him, Cara. You never bothered to talk to him. To try and get to know him. You saw him when he was at his worst, before he met me and I got under his personal shield. You didn't even give him a chance then. So, yeah, I guess he was a nasty piece of work according to you. What you don't know is that a lot of what I'm doing now, he asked me to do. He knew I'd have influence and he knew I could use that. You want me to be different, then work with me. Work against me, Cara, and I can be worse than you ever thought him to be."

Cara shook her head. "Threats don't help your sales pitch, Stephen."

John sighed. "Cara, what Stephen has offered is more than fair. He's going out on a limb to do this much. If he gets caught, he'll be in more trouble than we ever were." He looked to Stephen. "As far as I'm concerned, we're in. In time, maybe we'll be able to join you directly, Stephen, but right now, the majority of us do not trust you. I just walked through hell with you, and I still don't completely trust you." He shook his head. "It's not easy to hear, but it's the truth."

Stephen nodded to John. "I understand. I now run the office that's been hunting you." He sighed and stood up. "I have to go. Just let me know what you decide to do." He walked off, heading back to his office.

The office he used was the same one that Jedikiah had used. When he sat down at the desk, his eyes drifted to the one personal item he had, a framed picture of Jedikiah. He was smiling in the picture, sitting on a blanket in the snow covered grass, bundled up in a light blue parka at least two sizes too big for him and gloves, his blond hair peeking out from under a woolen hat pulled down over the tips of his ears. They'd left the city that day just to get away for a bit. They had driven upstate and had spent the afternoon with a picnic and relaxation outside even though it had been snowing recently. It was what Jedikiah had wanted and Stephen couldn't say no. Stephen had brought his camera, and had taken pictures of the scenery and of Jedikiah for the scrapbook they had been working on. That trip had been only six weeks before he'd died. Stephen stared at it for a moment before closing his eyes and leaning back. That day had been the last time they'd gotten away from it all. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. In fact, he wished it had been. Then he could go home to his husband rather than to a cold and empty apartment. He heard the knock on his office door, but ignored it, wanting to stay in the past for just a little longer. He sighed as the door was opened.

"Stephen?" The voice was unexpected.

Stephen opened his eyes and sat up, looking at his mother. "I didn't expect you to drop by." He closed several file folders and stacked them up. He felt the cold nothingness cover him completely.

Marla shrugged and closed the door behind her. "I was nearby and I thought you could use some company for lunch." She held up two bags from a nearby deli that she knew Stephen liked.

Stephen didn't smile, but he did nod. "Thanks." He took one of the bags from her outstretched hand. She sat down in front of his desk, pulling the chair up so they could both use the desk as a table.

Marla looked at the files briefly. "New projects?" She motioned to them.

Stephen picked them up and put them in a drawer. "No." He watched her closely for a moment, then sighed. "Don't ask either." He watched her nod, then unpack her bag. Soup and salad. He unpacked his own. One of his favorite sandwiches and a cup of soup. He still didn't smile, but his eyes conveyed his gratitude.

Marla had hoped for a smile, but the look in Stephen's eyes was enough for now. They made small talk while they ate and she invited him to stay with her for a while if he needed. She wasn't surprised when he refused. She knew he wanted to stay where he could remember Jedikiah best. It was too soon for him to move on. Right now, he needed to heal where he could feel Jedikiah's presence the strongest.

"I just want to stay at home right now. He asked me not to make any rash decisions, so I stayed there. It was the right choice." Stephen sighed. "I can sometimes feel him there. When I go to bed, there are times I swear I feel the bed dip like he's coming to bed. Sometimes, I swear I hear his voice telling me how much he loves me."

Marla listened quietly. When Stephen broke off, clearly about to lose control of his emotions, she spoke softly. "Stephen, he's with God now. Please believe that. You will see him again."

"God?" Stephen looked at Marla incredulously. "God? Really? God is an asshole. He's a complete and utter asshole. Jedikiah was my life, mom. He was the other half of me. I had six years with him..."

"Six wonderful years, Stephen."

"Six! He was young enough that we should have had twenty six or more. God gave him leukemia before I had a chance to really be with him."

"And God made sure he went into remission to give you..."

"No! God is the sadistic son a bitch that gave both of us the other halves of our souls, tormented both of us with knowing Jed was going to die, then ripped mine out when He decided it was time to steal him away! I didn't know what living was until I met him. He made me feel alive." Stephen folded his arms on the desk and buried his head against them. It took him a minute before he could speak again. "You don't understand. I don't want to live without him. I don't know how to live without him. I just wish I couldn't feel anything anymore."

"Stephen, he once told me that he wanted you to move on without him. He wanted you to heal and live your life. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to ask you to marry him because he knew it would be worse. He didn't want to leave you a widower. He never wanted you to suffer like this." Marla stood up and went behind the desk, hugging her son. "He never wanted you to suffer like this, Stephen. Never."

"I know." Stephen let himself be comforted. "I know." He sighed, regaining some composure. "I don't regret any choice I ever made where Jed was concerned. It just hurts too much right now. I can't move on yet. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on." He pulled away from his mother, then twisted the gold band on his left ring finger. "I don't think I'll ever be able to take this off. I'll never love anyone else the way I loved him."

Marla shook her head. "No. You won't, but that doesn't mean you won't fall in love again, Stephen. Don't say something will never happen right now. Yes, you're hurting. Yes, you're suffering. Right now, you feel like your world has been torn apart. You feel like nothing will ever be right again. There's a hole there that you feel will never be filled." She sighed. "Your dad may have just left, but I felt that way for a long time. It never goes away, Stephen, but it does become manageable."

Stephen snorted. "You had me and Luca to deal with. Of course you made it through. I have no one."

Marla shook her head. "No, Stephen. You have me and Luca. You have friends here who care about you. You are not alone."

Stephen sighed and fell silent as he thought about what she had said. Finally, he spoke again. "I have to get back to work. I'll call you later." Just like that, he controlled his emotions and became like ice.

Marla frowned when she saw the shift. She nodded and picked up her purse and gathered up the trash from lunch. She threw it in the trash can, then left the office. She was about to leave when she thought about Rebecca. She decided to stick around to chat with the psychiatrist.

Rebecca knocked on Stephen's office door before coming in. She saw the look that he gave her and shuddered inwardly. An image of Jedikiah from seven years ago was superimposed unwillingly over Stephen. "I ran into your mother on her way out."

"I'm busy, Rebecca. Make it quick." Stephen was not going to be led into a long talk right now. There were just some things he couldn't handle right now and that was one of them.

Rebecca sat down and leaned back. "She's worried about you, Stephen. I'm seeing it too. You're becoming the Jedikiah from before he met you."

Stephen flinched inwardly. Outwardly, he just raised a brow. "I'm becoming what he made me, Rebecca. He wanted me to take his place. He twisted and manipulated me to take his place."

Rebecca looked at Stephen in shock. "He loved you, Stephen. He didn't want you to become him."

"Yes, he did!" Stephen slammed his pen down. "I lived with him for six years, Rebecca. I saw every thought he ever had about me. Every action he took, every word he spoke to me, it was all calculated. He wanted me to end up here. Don't you dare tell me what he wanted for me!"

Rebecca was taken aback and speechless for a moment before she found her voice. "Stephen, that may have been true at first, but he did not want you to end up like the icy bastard he was for nine years once he realized how he felt about you."

Stephen shook his head. "You didn't know him like I did. Now, get out. I have work to do." He picked up his pen and began to ignore Rebecca. She tried to talk to him but with no answer, she eventually left.

An hour later, Stephen heard an unexpected voice. 'We need to talk.'

'Not now, John. I'm busy.'

'Yeah, so I hear. Take a break. I'm at the noodle house.'

'Rebecca contact you?'

'Yes, Stephen, she did.'

'Not interested.'

'Damn it. You come to me, or I'm coming to you after you get home. One way or another, you will talk to me.'

'Fine.' Stephen got up and left the office. Thirty minutes later, he walked into the noodle house. He found John and sat down across from him. "I'm here. What do you want?"

John didn't talk. He just shared the feelings that he'd gotten from Jedikiah for Stephen. How Jedikiah hadn't even known when he'd fallen in love, but that it had happened before Stephen had even graduated from high school. How Jedikiah had wanted to see Stephen smile and hear him laugh. How he had wanted to be the one to make it happen. How just the thought of seeing Stephen warmed his heart. It had scared Jedikiah badly because he didn't know what was going on. How far he'd closed himself off that he didn't recognize love anymore. John also shared a memory that he, himself, had of Jedikiah when they were together. The love didn't feel the same. With Stephen, it was far more intense.

"When did he share?" Stephen was surprised and that shocked him out of his icy demeanor.

"When I talked to him after that whole fiasco with Caleb being an idiot. I asked him if he was using you. He offered to let me see in his mind. I took him up on it because I was worried for you." John watched Stephen carefully. "He contacted me most recently about nine months ago. He told me he wasn't going to tell you. He was scared for you, Stephen. He somehow knew that things weren't going to go his way this time. He was terrified that you were going to turn into him. He wanted me to talk to you if you started going that way. He wanted me to share one specific memory with you." He held out his hand.

Stephen frowned, then took John's hand. The memory flooded over him and he closed his eyes under the intensity of it. He saw the memory of their first night from Jedikiah's point of view. He'd never seen this particular memory from Jedikiah. He felt the cracks in the wall that he'd known Jedikiah had. He felt how he'd slipped through a little further. He saw how Jedikiah hadn't considered a condom, and John's jealousy at that and also at how Jedikiah begged Stephen to fuck him rather than top Stephen. He saw how Jedikiah hadn't said it, but had thought it. 'I love you, Stephen'. He felt Jedikiah's confusion at the thought, then his dismissal of it. He felt how he was confused by the teenager laying next to him on the bed, but deep down he knew that he couldn't really follow through with any plans he'd had for Stephen now. Jedikiah just hadn't realized it at that point. When the memory faded, Stephen realized he was in tears. He clung to John's hand as he shook all over.

John moved to sit next to Stephen, letting the young man cling to him. "Come on. I'll take you home."

Stephen nodded and let John stand him up and support him as they left the room. John teleported them and Stephen was aware of being home. He didn't fight John as the other man got him settled down and in bed. When John was about to leave, Stephen caught his hand. "Stay? Please?" He looked up at John.

John hesitated, then nodded. "Okay." He looked toward the bedroom door. "I'll be out there. I won't leave."

Stephen shook his head. "No. Stay with me, John. You're the closest thing I have to him right now." He tried to pull John down with him.

John pulled free from Stephen. "Stephen, I understand how you're feeling, but I am not doing this. It's too soon." He had to duck his head when Stephen tried to kiss him. "Stephen, I mean it. I'm not going to be a substitute for Jedikiah. If you want to fuck me, then you need to see me for me, not look at me and see a bridge to Jedikiah." He blinked when he realized he didn't say no. He took a brief moment to evaluate things. Yeah, Stephen was attractive. Jedikiah had loved him, so there was something special there.

Stephen fell back into the bed. "Okay. You're right. It's not a good idea." He rolled on his side, away from John. "Just go away then."

John frowned, but nodded. He lightly touched Stephen's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Stephen. I really am." He pulled away after not getting a response and left the bedroom.

'He's at home, Rebecca.'

'Thank you, John. Does he need someone to stay with him?'

'Yeah. Someone who isn't male with blond hair.'

'Why?'

'He just propositioned me, Rebecca. If I didn't know what was going on, I might have taken him up on it. He wanted me because I was a link to Jedikiah. I told him no. He's gone silent now. He needs someone here and if I stay, he's only going to try again later.'

'I'll be there in five.' A pause. 'You don't need to stay. And thank you, John. We lost Jedikiah. We don't need to lose Stephen too.'

'I'm still surprised you contacted me. Why did you?'

'Because Jedikiah told me that if things got bad with Stephen, you had something that might be able to help. Stephen's shut himself away, John. He's becoming everything Jedikiah didn't want him to be. I know it's not been a long time, but if he doesn't grieve properly now, he'll never be able to.'

'Oh. Makes perfect sense.' The sarcasm colored his words and thoughts.

'He trusted you, you know. Even after you walked out on him, he still trusted you. He's trusting you even now with Stephen. I don't think he'd be upset at all if you and Stephen got into a relationship. Or even had just a one night stand. I think he'd be okay with that.'

'Aren't we supposed to be enemies?'

'Technically, yes, but Jedikiah made me promise to leave you be provided you were helping Stephen go through this rough time.'

'Really?'

'Yes, and I will honor that promise. Stephen won't hurt you, John. No matter how cold he gets, he'll never be able to hurt anyone that loved Jedikiah. He would consider it a betrayal of sorts.'

'Oh. Rebecca, I won't be a one night stand for Stephen right now. I really won't. I can't. I would feel like I'd be making him cheat on Jedikiah. It's just too soon. It may always be too soon for him.'

'I know, John, but now I'm curious if you'd ever be interested in pursuing Stephen.'

'I honestly don't know. Right now, he's just looking for someone to be Jedikiah for him. I can't do that.'

'And would it really be so bad? Maybe by being with someone else, he'll realize that it's okay for him to heal and move on.'

'Or he'll call out the wrong name. My ego can't handle that.'

Rebecca arrived in the apartment in front of John. "Why am I not surprised?" She smirked at John. "I'll stay with him. You can go if you want to."

John nodded. "Okay." He glanced back toward the bedroom.

"Just think about it, okay?" Rebecca lightly touched John's arm. "He needs a friend that can understand how he feels."

"Sex isn't what he needs." John shook his head, looking back at Rebecca.

"I agree, but if he decides it is, he can get it from someone safe, or he can go out and get it from someone he doesn't know." Rebecca shrugged. "I know I'd prefer he go for someone safe. Jedikiah would want the same thing and you know that's true."

John sighed and nodded. "I know. I just don't think I'm the right person."

"I know, but I think Jedikiah was trying to manipulate things so you would be there for Stephen. I honestly believe you are the only person he would trust with Stephen. You won't do things for the wrong reasons, nor will you try and take advantage of him." Rebecca smiled slightly at John. "Just think about it. You don't have to act right now."

John nodded with a sigh. "I'll think about it. I won't guarantee anything though."

Rebecca nodded back. "I'm not asking you to make a long term commitment. I'm only asking you to think about what I've said."

John looked back at the bedroom one last time, then teleported out.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks went by with no sign of John. Stephen continued to go about his days in much the same manner. He would go to work, then go home, curl up in bed, and cry. He did nothing else. Though now it was different. He wanted to go out. He found a club near his apartment and went there. When he got in, he sat at the bar, just watching the crowd. He saw a tall, slender man with blond hair and started to head over. When he caught the man's eye, he put on a smile and kept approaching.

The man smiled back at Stephen and moved to intercept him. They went to the dance floor and began to move. The man tried to dominate the dancing, but quickly realized that it was only going to lose Stephen's interest. He allowed Stephen to dominate then.

Stephen began to touch the man, pulling his hips back against himself. He moved one hand to wrap around the man's waist. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He was caught off guard when John grabbed the man away from him and stared Stephen down.

The man quickly apologized to John and disappeared into the crowd. Stephen glared at John before starting to search for the man he'd found.

John followed Stephen before grabbing his arm and pulling him around. He shook his head then spoke telepathically. 'You don't have to come here looking for a quick fuck, Stephen. It's not safe.'

Stephen flinched, but jerked his arm away. 'You have no right telling me what to do.' He started to move away.

John didn't move to grab Stephen again. Instead he just sent another thought toward him. 'If a quick fuck is all you need, then come to me, Stephen. I'd rather it be with me than with someone you don't know. At least I'm clean.'

Stephen hesitated before turning back to look at John. He watched him for a moment before nodding. He took hold of John's arm and they left the club. He took John back to his apartment. "I wasn't, you know."

"Wasn't what?" John accepted the soda that Stephen offered.

"Wasn't looking for a quick fuck." Stephen shrugged. "Dancing with that guy helped me to think that for just a moment, he was in my arms again."

John set the soda down and looked at Stephen for a long moment. "That's not what you were thinking about, Stephen."

Stephen sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, so I wanted to fuck him. Didn't mean I was going to."

"Find a different type. You won't heal if you stick to tall blond men." John finally sat down. He looked up at Stephen.

Stephen was silent for a long moment, moving to stare out the window. He spoke without looking at John. "I only have one type of man, John. I never looked at guys before Jed. I never considered them at all."

"Then find a woman, Stephen." John stood and moved to stand by Stephen. "Just don't do this to yourself. I regret leaving Jedikiah when I did. If I'd lost him to you, I could have dealt with it. Losing him because of my own actions, I always regretted that. I watched him turn to ice. I knew it was his way of protecting himself. I'm watching you do that now. I lost him. Don't make me lose you too."

Stephen shook his head. "You never had me to lose."

John turned to look at Stephen. "Jedikiah told me you never betrayed me. You just chose him instead of me. I consider you a friend, Stephen."

"He wanted me to give you up to him. I never told him I wouldn't, but he knew anyway." Stephen looked at John. "There were things he'd never share with me, but I got in his mind enough to know that he was working to manipulate me. He wanted me to take his place. I'm doing just that."

"Stephen, that is wrong and you know it. Jedikiah did not want you to end up like this. You have to know that." John took Stephen's hands and led him to the couch to sit. "Stephen, I want to share something with you. Something I got from Jedikiah about a year ago. He never wanted you to know this. He thought it would hurt you even more, but you need to know." He waited for Stephen to nod before he let the memory go.

Stephen was overwhelmed at first. John's memory of seeing Jedikiah before the leukemia came back. He'd been dressed casually, triggering John's intense desire for the man. Stephen had to agree. He remembered the day that Jedikiah had worn that particular outfit. They'd argued that day, but only because they had a little girl at the center that was dying. Stephen had gotten close to her. She'd lost her parents and had no one. Stephen had wanted to adopt her. Jedikiah had refused. It wasn't a gentle refusal either. Stephen hadn't wanted her to die alone and Jedikiah had told him that they didn't have to adopt her for Stephen to sit by her when she died. He wasn't going to budge on this and it had turned into a shouting match in which Jedikiah had told Stephen that if he wanted to adopt that kid, go ahead, but don't come back home. They'd made peace that same evening, though there had been tension between them for a few days afterward. Stephen had sat with that little girl two months later while she drifted away. He'd cried, of course, but it had hurt to know Jedikiah didn't want a family with him. It didn't matter how little time he'd be there. It would have been their family. It would have given him a stronger reason to keep on living. John drew Stephen's attention back to the memory.

_After Stephen had left the apartment in anger, Jedikiah had called John. Sure, it would be a missed call, but he knew how to get in touch with him. John had called him back. He asked to see John, no tricks, just them. John had agreed and they had met in Central Park. While they walked together, Jedikiah told John about Stephen's desire for a family. He'd asked John if he overreacted when he said no. John hadn't known what to say. Jedikiah confided in him then that he wanted Stephen to have a family, but he was scared to be a part of it. Even then, he didn't expect to live much longer and he didn't want to leave Stephen alone with a child. It would have been devastating to both father and child to lose him. John showed Stephen how Jedikiah had cried that day at the thought that Stephen might not come back because he had lost his temper. John had comforted Jedikiah, just holding him and letting him cry. He'd told Jedikiah that it would be okay. Stephen wasn't going to leave. He couldn't. No more than he could leave Stephen. John had kissed Jedikiah's cheek, but Stephen couldn't sense anything underhanded about the action. It was just a comforting move. Jedikiah had let John in just so he could know how he felt about the whole thing. Jedikiah had wanted a family. He'd wanted one badly. He just knew that with the leukemia, he couldn't ever have one. It was bad enough that he wanted to marry Stephen. He wanted it bad enough that he had plans to propose to him if he could get the courage up. John had found that amusing to realize that Jedikiah was scared of anything. He knew why this scared him though, and the feelings that showed up next proved it. He didn't want to leave Stephen a widower. With the desire for a family, he'd be damned if he would leave Stephen both a widower and with a child. It was tearing Jedikiah apart._

John pulled back from the memory even as Stephen was trying to cling to it. He looked at Stephen, then hugged him the way he'd comforted Jedikiah that time.

Stephen hadn't even realized he was crying until John pulled him close. He broke down again even after trying to regain his composure. Just seeing in John's memories how much Jedikiah loved him and how much he had wanted a family, it was too much. He began to cling to John, desperate to hold on to even just a shred of the man he'd loved.

John recognized this for what it was and led Stephen to the couch. He sat down, pulling Stephen down with him. He didn't complain when Stephen kissed him, but he didn't return the kiss. "Stephen, you're too upset right now."

Stephen shook his head. "No, John. I want this. I need this." He began to mouth at John's neck.

John pushed Stephen back. "Not while you're trying to cling to him, Stephen. If we do this, then we do this because you want me, not because you're still trying to hold on to him." He held Stephen at arms length. "I'll share my memories of him with you, but I'm not going to let you fuck me because you miss him and I'm the next closest thing."

Stephen was silent before nodding. He didn't like it, but he did understand. "Okay." He stayed silent for a moment before continuing. "Thanks, John."

"For what?"

"Keeping me from making a mistake." Stephen sighed. "And for showing me what you did for him. I remember it differently and he never did share with me what he had been thinking. I didn't know he wanted a family of his own. He had me, of course, and my mom and brother, but I didn't know he also wanted a kid. I thought he didn't want a kid cause he didn't like them. Our office took in kids with leukemia who didn't have any other place to go. We were able to help some of them. Others, we couldn't. Jedikiah avoided them all. I sat with some of them."

"Ashleigh." John nodded. "Jedikiah noticed, Stephen. He wasn't avoiding them because he didn't like them. He avoided them because he didn't want to get attached to them. When you took an interest in Ashleigh, so did he." John sighed and let the memory flow to Stephen.

_Jedikiah had watched Stephen on the monitor as he sat with the dying girl. He turned the volume up to listen to Stephen reading from the book of fairy tales he'd brought her. He'd smiled slightly when the girl laughed. After Stephen had left, Jedikiah had gone to sit with her himself. He'd read from the same book to her when Stephen wasn't there. He'd let her sit in his lap while he rocked her to sleep. He'd loved that little girl and he'd hated himself for it. If he hadn't been sick himself, he'd have gladly adopted her for Stephen. When she'd died, it left a part of him empty. A part that even Stephen couldn't fill. He hadn't gone to her funeral, not because he didn't care, but because he knew he wouldn't be able to get through it without crying. He couldn't handle letting anyone other than Stephen see that side of him. He had gone to her grave the following day to leave a white rose and to say goodbye. He'd cried the entire time and had sat there by her grave for almost two hours._

Stephen hadn't known this. He was surprised that he hadn't known that Jedikiah had gone to the girl's grave. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch. "How did you know about this?"

"I told you. He called me." John leaned back as well. "When he started sharing things with me, he did so with the understanding that I'd share when necessary. Certain things he told me not to share, but he knew I would if I felt it necessary. He wanted you to know these things, but not right away. Those things he was always careful not to let you see. He knew full well how to stop you from getting in his mind."

Stephen nodded slightly. "I know he knew. John, whatever he shared with you, I want to know. Please, I need to know."

John shook his head. "Stephen, if I do that now, then I'm going to break an unspoken promise. I can't do that. I don't expect you to understand, but there are things I can't do. I can't break this promise." John sighed. "I can't do it for the same reason I don't want you to go out and fuck some stranger."

Stephen snorted and looked at John with raised brows. "Okay, why?"

John looked at Stephen for a moment. "Respect, Stephen. Respect for Jed. You honestly can't tell me that he wanted you to go out and hook up with strangers for one night, risking your life for a quick fuck."

Stephen shrugged. "My life, John."

"Are you suicidal or something?" John frowned as he watched Stephen. "Oh, God, you are." He shook his head. "Stephen, don't do this. Please. It's not going to make things right."

Stephen looked away. "I'm not suicidal. I just don't care. John, I don't know how to live without him right now, okay? I'm surviving. I'm not living. There's a difference."

John nodded after studying Stephen. "Then let people help you, Stephen. If you shut everyone out, you're never going to heal." He sighed. "Scratch that. If you shut out your friends, you won't heal."

"Friends? Who, exactly? You and Rebecca? You're the only two I even think of as friends. You're the only two I actually do talk to." Stephen shook his head and sighed.

"It's a start." John closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall behind the couch. "Do you still want a quick fuck, Stephen?"

Stephen shook his head. "No, not really." He looked at John. "You were right. I wanted to keep his memory going."

John nodded. "When that changes, I'm here. I only ask that we talk first."

Stephen nodded. "Fair enough, but what if I want someone else? I mean, someone completely anonymous?"

John snorted. "Is it worth risking your health?"

Stephen snorted back. "Is it worth risking my sanity?" He shook his head. "I can't have another relationship, John. I can't. It's not that I want to, because I really don't, it's because I'm married. Even if he's gone, I'm still married. One night stands are all I can do and even then, it's going to be hard. I know how to keep myself safe, John."

John nodded. "Just consider me, okay? I won't ask for anything more than you can give. I'd stay just a friend, Stephen. A friend you can turn to. I'm clean. You're clean. It's safe." He made a promise to Jedikiah and he would follow through. He'd keep Stephen safe.

Stephen sighed. "I'll think about it." He stood up. "Stay or not. I'm going to bed." He couldn't hide it from John that he needed to get away for a while. He was breaking down and he needed space. He closed himself off in his bedroom, quickly undressed down to his boxers, and climbed into bed. He pulled the extra pillow over and inhaled. He could still smell Jedikiah on the pillow and it was too much. He started to cry again. Somewhere, in that place between sleep and awake, he would swear he heard Jedikiah telling him not to cry and that everything would be okay. He would swear he felt Jedikiah's fingers smoothing back his hair and wiping away his tears. He would swear he felt Jedikiah's arms around him and lips on his forehead and temple.


	4. Chapter 4

When Stephen woke the next morning, he shut off the alarm on his phone, then turned to look at the empty bed. He sighed and got up. He pulled out his clothes for the day, laying them on the bed. He shut off the second alarm, then went to take a shower.

Rebecca's door was open when Stephen dropped by. She looked up in surprise as he came in, closed the door, and sat down. "Are you okay?"

Stephen shook his head. He curled in on himself and trembled. He didn't care when she moved to sit next to him, pulling him into a gentle hug. "I don't want to do this anymore. I want to stop hurting, but I don't know how." Rebecca didn't speak, just letting Stephen work through this on his own. "I haven't had a single night that I haven't cried myself to sleep, Rebecca. Not one. Last night was different. He was there with me. He told me it would be okay. He held me again. I felt it. He was there."

Rebecca tried not to cry with Stephen. She moved one hand to wipe away the tears that escaped. "Oh, Stephen." She really didn't know what to say.

They both jumped a little when Stephen's cell phone began to ring. He pulled it out and looked at it, then shook his head. He handed it to Rebecca. "I can't. Not right now."

Rebecca took the phone and looked. She nodded. "Want me to?" She stood up at his nod and stepped outside. She hit accept and held the phone to her ear. She didn't have to say anything. The terse and accented 'Dr. Price' from the other end made it clear who was calling, even if the display hadn't told her. "Dr. Price is currently indisposed."

"Rebecca?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess. He's in your office, still not over the late Dr. Price."

"Correct."

"How long is this going to last?" The tone was bored and irritated both.

"Grief is not an exact science, sir. If you had done what I'd asked and actually truly witnessed them interacting with each other, you know that there is no quick fix for this." Rebecca gritted her teeth and tried not to snap.

"He needs to be ready."

"I can't make any guarantees."

"I'm not asking for one. I'm telling you that if he's not ready in six months, you will be the one to take the blame."

"Understood." The phone went dead and Rebecca sighed. She looked through the window to see Stephen still curled up on himself. She went back in and handed the phone back to Stephen. "You need to take some more personal time, Stephen. Being here isn't helping."

"He did want a family, you know?" Stephen ignored her request for him to take more time. "I could have had a family with him."

"Stephen..." Rebecca sighed. "He wanted you to move on without him. You're not. You're living in the day after. You need to move on."

"I can't. I don't know how." Stephen looked up at Rebecca, eyes full of tears and pain.

Rebecca sat down with Stephen again, pulling him against her, a hand running over his hair, smoothing it back. "I wish I knew how to help you. All I can do is just be with you as long as you need." She felt Stephen's nod. "I'm asking you to take some more personal time, Stephen. At least another week or two. You need to stay somewhere else, though. Get out of that apartment for just a week or two."

Stephen was silent before he nodded again. "Okay." He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Okay."

 

Stephen took another month off. He'd avoided everyone from the office except for Rebecca. He'd figured that avoiding all of them would be bad, but keeping in contact with Rebecca was good. He was left alone for the duration of the month. He'd stayed with his mom for one week and a hotel for another, but the remaining two were spent at home. He did feel a little better about being back there after two weeks of being gone. He'd found the strength to go through Jedikiah's things then. He'd sorted out his clothes, and what Stephen couldn't wear, he'd packed up. He'd had offers of help from his mom and Rebecca. The one he accepted was the offer from John. They had worked in silence for the most part.

It happened two days before Stephen's leave was over. He and John had been working in the main room, sorting out books and magazines that Jedikiah had collected. Stephen had been looking through the magazines, deciding what to keep and what to throw out. So far, every one had been in the keep pile. They were all magazines that had articles written by Jedikiah. John hadn't complained even though he frowned at each one that Stephen kept after the first ten.

When they were halfway done, Stephen had gotten up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a soda. He offered one to John, who accepted it, before going out to the balcony. He hadn't noticed John joining him out there until John spoke.

"Now I know why he liked it out here so much. Never really paid attention to the view at night." John set the soda down on the small table.

Stephen nodded. "We'd sit out here in the evenings." He looked toward the oversized chair. "There, actually. Just sit, not talk." He sighed.

John stepped up behind Stephen and put a hand on his shoulder. He said nothing though. After a moment, they both sat down in the chair. John wasn't sure who made the first move, but they were kissing and Stephen's arms pulled John closer. He'd heard the thoughts in Stephen's mind of how he'd needed this. He didn't care if this was a one time thing. It was something that Stephen needed badly at the moment. The realization that he could love someone else or at least that he could have sex with someone else.

Stephen pulled John up after a few moments of just kissing. He led him through the apartment to the guest room. He wasn't able to share his bedroom with anyone right now, but the guest room, he could do that. He pushed John down on the bed, following him down and covering him with his own body.

John closed his eyes and rocked his hips up against Stephen's, feeling his clear interest in current events. He tilted his head back and moaned as Stephen's mouth found his neck and began nibbling lightly.

Stephen pulled back long enough to tug on John's shirt. When John moved to make it easier, Stephen yanked the shirt off, tossing it to the side. He slid down, kissing and licking over John's chest until he came to the top of John's jeans. He unfastened them and pulled them and his briefs off, tossing both to the floor. He worked his way back up John's body to lick into his mouth.

John started to remove Stephen's shirt, but found his wrists caught and pinned above his head. He pulled his mouth away from Stephen's. "No." He pulled at the hands trapping him. He was glad Stephen had enough sense to accept that as his wrists were let go. "You can fuck me. You can do whatever you want, but you cannot hold me down like that. Okay?" He looked at Stephen to make sure he understood.

"Okay." Stephen ran his hands over John's arms, then pulled one up, kissing the wrist that he'd held down. "Sorry." He let his arm go and let John pull his shirt off. He closed his eyes at the feel of someone else's hands on his arms, chest, and back. He'd missed this. It wasn't completely right still, but he could get through it. He needed the intimacy with someone. He just had to remember this was John. Not Jedikiah. John. John. John. He carefully buried those thoughts away. He didn't want John knowing what he was thinking.

John knew what was going on. He almost resented Stephen's trying to hide it. Almost. He didn't want to stop this though. It had been a while for him and it just felt too good. He should stop this. Stephen wasn't ready for this. Instead, he unfastened Stephen's pants, trying to pull them down instead. He had to use a combination of hands and feet to get them off.

Stephen sat up on his heels and started to coax John to lay on his stomach. When John was how he wanted him, he got up long enough to go get the lube and a condom. He came back to find John looking over his shoulder. He held up the tube and the condom and received a smirk in response.

John watched Stephen approach the bed, setting down the items next to him. He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the pillows as Stephen's hands ran over his back and the younger man settled between his legs. Those hands disappeared and he heard the tube being opened. A minute later, he felt a finger slide in and he pushed back with a groan. "Stephen." He began to rock his hips in time with that finger. A second one finally slid in and crooked. John moaned and pushed back harder. "More, please." He bit his lip, then felt a third push in.

Stephen worked his fingers in John for a moment longer before pulling back, hearing the whine and watching John push back, clearly wanting his fingers again. Stephen leaned over and kissed John's shoulder as he took the foil package and opened it. He rolled the condom on, then spread John's legs further apart as he stroked himself with a lube slicked hand.

John was about to beg when he felt Stephen settle down and press inside. He forced himself to relax and let out a soft groan as Stephen bottomed out. He pushed back and fisted the comforter underneath him. "Move, damn it!"

Stephen began to move. He closed his eyes and, for a moment, this was Jedikiah underneath him. He had to stop that thought immediately. It wasn't Jedikiah, it was John. John. John. John. He caught himself twice about to whisper the wrong name. John. John. John. This wasn't right, but it did feel good. He pulled himself up to his knees, slipping out of John. He gripped John's hips and coaxed him up. When John came up to his knees, Stephen pushed back in. He leaned over John, gripping his shoulders and pulling him back when he thrust forward.

John knew he was being used, but he didn't care at the moment. He wanted this connection as much as Stephen did. He'd never admit it, but he wanted the connection to Jedikiah again. He began to wonder who was using who or if they were using each other. "Oh, fuck, Stephen." He moaned as Stephen found his prostate.

Stephen moved just enough to keep that angle going. He watched John begin to fall to pieces underneath him. Just when he was almost there, Stephen pulled out. "Turn over." He watched John as he moved to his back, legs spread and looking debauched. It helped him to remember who he was with.

John reached for Stephen and wasn't disappointed when he came to him. He felt Stephen slide back into him and he rocked his hips up. He closed his eyes as he felt Stephen grab one of his legs and pull it up over his shoulder. He bit his lip as Stephen found a good angle almost immediately.

Stephen began thrusting hard. He felt John rocking up to meet him and let him set the pace. He didn't offer to help get John off, but didn't stop him from doing it himself. When John came, Stephen couldn't hold back, emptying into the condom. He rolled off quickly and lay on his back trying to catch his breath. He had stayed silent to keep from crying out the wrong name. He removed the condom and tied the end before tossing it in the trash.

John looked at Stephen for a moment, then turned on his side. "Do you want me to go?"

Stephen sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. Might be a good idea if you did."

John nodded and reached over, caressing Stephen's shoulder. "Just so you know, I don't expect a relationship. Okay? I know you can't give that right now."

Stephen nodded once, then turned away from John. "Just go." He curled up.

John was still for a moment, frowning at the man. He saw the trembling before hearing the sobs. "Stephen..." He sighed and got up, dressing quickly. He never finished what he was about to say. He left, teleporting out.

Stephen didn't move for a half hour before his stomach started to ache. He was up and running for the bathroom.

Rebecca found Stephen naked and asleep while curled up on the floor of the bathroom an hour later. She grabbed a blanket and lay it over him. She knelt next to him and lightly touched his forehead. No fever. That was good. She gently shook him. His eyes opened and he looked up at her. She saw the pain in his eyes and shook her head with a sigh. "Come on."

Stephen let her help him up and let her lead him to his bed. He climbed into bed, still trembling, though no more tears were falling. He didn't care that she was there. He felt cold and empty.

Rebecca sat down next to him, avoiding the side of the bed that had been Jedikiah's. "What happened? John called me and said I should probably come check in on you."

Stephen made a choked sound at that. It took him a moment before he could speak. "We... I..." He let out a shaky sigh. "I cheated on Jed." The second he got that out, he started sobbing.

Rebecca was silent, just rubbing Stephen's back. She looked upward, then finally managed to speak. "I'm going to go make you some tea, okay?"

Stephen barely nodded. His hands found the extra pillow and he pulled it to his chest.

Rebecca stood up and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, then sighed. She finally moved toward the kitchen, filling the kettle and putting it on the stove to heat. While waiting, she contacted John. 'You were right to contact me.'

'Is he okay?'

'No.'

There's a pause. 'Care to explain that?'

'Who's idea was this?'

'Both of us.'

'Stephen feels as though he's cheated on Jedikiah.'

'Oh. Believe me, if I'd known he was going to react this way, I wouldn't have gone along with it.'

'I know.'

'Rebecca, Stephen is not going to recover.'

'What do you mean?'

'He tried to hide it from me. I think I got it because I thought about Jed too. He kept thinking about him, but had to keep reminding himself I wasn't him.'

'It's going to take time, but he will recover.'

'I don't think he will. I think damage control is all that can be done.'

'Did you leave on your own?'

'I asked him. He told me to leave.'

'You shouldn't have left, John. I don't blame you for leaving, but right now, being alone isn't best for him.'

'What are you not telling me, Rebecca?'

'I shouldn't tell you.'

'Tell me.'

'He's got five more months to recover and completely take over the office.'

'And if he doesn't?'

'They could kill him, John. He's no use to them if he's broken. Right now, we don't have enough glue in the world to put him back together.'

'Fuck.'

'Yeah.'

The kettle began to whistle and Rebecca took it off the burner. She turned the stove off and pulled a mug out and hunted down the tea.

'Does he know?'

'No.' She put a teabag in the mug and poured water in. She found a clean kitchen towel and draped it over the mug.

'What would happen if he knows?'

'We both know the answer to that, John.

'He'll become the Jedikiah from six years ago.'

'Yeah. No one wants that. Not even us.'

'I'd have thought the others there would have embraced another Jedikiah, no offense.'

'None taken. Granted he was fun to torture whenever I needed a giggle. All I had to do was say hello to him. But no, none of us want anyone else becoming the way he was. Those of us who can remember how cold he was, well, we'll do anything to keep Stephen from becoming like that.'

'Oh. It was really that bad?'

'John, he killed people just because he could. One mistake and they were dead.'

'Okay, point taken. Definitely do not want Stephen becoming like that.'

'No.' She took the towel off the mug and added milk and sugar. She stirred the tea then carried it into the bedroom.

Stephen had gotten some sweatpants on, but had curled up again on the bed. He did take the tea and sipped at it.

Rebecca sat down on the bed next to Stephen. "Stephen, what happened was natural. People need intimacy. It's going to happen again in the future."

Stephen shook his head. "No. It won't. I don't need anyone, Rebecca."

"You may not want anyone else in your life on a permanent basis, but you are going to give in to having sex again. It's natural and normal."

"Then it will happen. I'll deal with it." Stephen sighed and set the mug aside. "I just want to take a shower and go to bed, okay?"

Rebecca nodded. "I'd prefer to stay, Stephen. I don't think you should be alone."

"Guest room is messed up." Stephen stood up, starting for the bathroom.

"I'll change the sheets."

"Hall closet." Stephen disappeared into the bathroom and left Rebecca to clean up. He was glad she was willing to do that because he didn't think he could. He stripped down and turned the shower on. He got in when the water had warmed up and after he had washed his hair, everything had started hitting him again. He had to lean against the cold tiles to keep from crumpling down. He just stayed there up against the wall, the water hiding his sobbing. He couldn't contact Rebecca without calling out. When the water started running cold, it helped Stephen to regain composure and find the strength to get out of the shower and turn the water off. He dried off and wrapped the towel around his hips before returning to his bedroom. He grabbed a pair of boxers and slid them on before climbing into bed. He didn't get in on his usual side, but rather the side Jedikiah had always used. He burrowed under the blankets and began to cry again. Once again, he could have sworn he felt Jedikiah's arms around him shushing him and telling him it was okay. When he turned to look, no one was there.


	5. Chapter 5

Four more months had passed. Outwardly, Stephen appeared fine. Inwardly, he was still a mess. He'd refused to see John, no matter how much the older man had called him both on his phone and telepathically. John had even showed up at one point outside Stephen's apartment, but Stephen had refused to open the door and told John to go away. Fortunately, John respected Stephen's requests, though that didn't stop him from trying.

What John didn't expect was that Stephen would agree one night to see him. He showed up where they had agreed upon in Central Park. Stephen wasn't alone. Several agents were hidden through the area. John was unaware and approached Stephen with a small smile. He stopped, looking shocked when he realized what was going on. "Stephen?"

Stephen only watched John impassively as the agents came out to surround John. "Take him alive." He turned to walk away. He couldn't watch.

'I thought you were my friend, Stephen.' John got no reaction and tried to teleport out. When he couldn't, he knew he would have to fight his way out. It didn't take long before John was subdued and knocked out.

Stephen went back to his car and got in. He pulled out his phone and dialed. When the line was picked up, he didn't wait. "It's done." He hung up without hearing any response. He didn't have to. It came telepathically with a European accent. 'Well done, Stephen. Jedikiah would be proud of you.'

Stephen gritted his teeth and shoved his key in the ignition and turned it. 'You really don't have to pull his name out to get my cooperation, you know.'

'Oh, I know. Perhaps someday I'll share the memories I have of him with you.'

'You promised me. Capture John and you'd share your memories of Jedikiah.'

'I need you to do one more thing first.'

'Anything. Just, please, I need that connection to him.'

'Find your father and make sure a bullet is put in his brain.'

Stephen damned near crashed the car. He had to pull over and stop. 'Wait, you want me to go after that sadistic son of a bitch?'

'Yes, Stephen, I do. I want you to make sure he is killed. Otherwise, he will stand up and take John's place. We cannot have that happen.'

'I understand.'

'Do you? Can you do this, Stephen?'

'I can do it. He's the reason Jedikiah tried to commit suicide once.'

There's silence for a long moment before a soft response comes through. 'I didn't know that, Stephen. I had assumed it was because of the pain he was in. That was what Rebecca reported.'

Stephen was silent for long enough that the other individual responded again. 'Stephen?'

'Sorry. I just thought everyone knew and no one wanted to talk about it.'

'Perhaps we should meet and discuss this.'

'If you feel that is best.'

'I do. I'll meet you at your office.'

'I'm on my way.'

When Stephen arrived, the man he'd been speaking to was present in his office. Stephen crossed to his desk and sat down.

"Tell me what happened, Stephen." The man spoke softly as he looked at the young man.

Stephen shook his head and closed his eyes. "Better if I just show you." He tried hard to keep his emotions under control as he allowed this man to see what had occurred the night that led to Jedikiah's attempt.

The man turned to look out the window. "Did he?"

"Did he what?"

"Show you everything?"

"I don't know, but I believe so."

The man turned to look back at Stephen. "I'm curious. How did you react?"

Stephen sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I wasn't happy at first. I took a couple of days to figure things out. Obviously, I came back. Even though I still disagree with some things, it's not in my power to change it."

"You underestimate yourself, Stephen. You have a great deal of influence here. Jedikiah hand picked you to replace him. In all the time I knew him, until he met you, he was not going to pick a successor."

Stephen looked at the man. "How well did you know him?"

"We founded Ultra together." The man turned back to the window. "I knew Jedikiah when he was a compassionate and loving man. Before his foster brother and lover turned against him. But I've already told you that."

Stephen sighed and looked out the window as well. He stayed silent to keep himself from breaking down.

"Some people believe that when someone dies, their soul hangs around for a time to comfort their loved ones." The man glanced at Stephen and saw the flinch. He looked back out the window. "Some people think that when the soul stays behind, it causes tremendous pain to the survivors, particularly to a surviving spouse. Wouldn't you agree, Dr. Price?"

Stephen looked over at the man and took a calming breath. "I wouldn't know." He managed the lie smoothly.

"I see." The man looked at Stephen for a long moment, then smiled faintly. "Don't try and lie to me, Stephen."

"What do you want to me to say? That I miss Jedikiah? He was my husband. I'd give everything just to have him back." Stephen looked away. Somehow, he'd managed to say that without breaking down.

"Perhaps he's still with you? Maybe not physically, or metaphysically, but inside your heart, Stephen. Hold on to that." The man looked away. "Were Jedikiah still alive, he would approve of going after Roger Price." Just like that, he was back to business.

"I'm not so sure." Stephen made eye contact when the man looked back.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, even though Roger threatened him, Jed still loved him. That was still his brother. He could have killed him that night. He had his gun. He could have pulled the trigger. Were Jedikiah still alive, he wouldn't have approved." Stephen started out uncertain, but his voice got stronger and his tone more defiant.

The man looked at Stephen in disbelief for several moments before he started laughing. "Well, you do know him then." He shook his head.

"I was married to the man. Of course I knew him." Stephen seemed a little resentful.

"Oh, no, Stephen. I didn't know how much of himself he let you see." The man chuckled and shook his head. "He actually told me at one point that you might be difficult when something came up that conflicted with your morals. Killing, it seems, does."

Stephen shook his head. "Actually, it doesn't. It might have at one point, but, while I can't pull the trigger, I have no problem with giving the order."

The man raised his brows. "Then why the hesitation regarding your father?"

"First off, he's not my father. Maybe genetically, but nothing more." Stephen sighed. "It's out of respect."

"You hesitated in following the order to trap John Young, even though I told you I would share my memories of Jedikiah with you."

"Again, it's a matter of respect. Jedikiah wanted to make sure I'd be okay. He recruited John for that."

"I don't believe you." The man looked at Stephen blankly. "Jedikiah would never have gone to a rogue breakout like that."

"Well, it's true. The only thing that Jedikiah would ever have gone to John about was anything that was directly related to me."

"I'll be finding that out soon, Stephen. I plan on breaking John Young down. We won't kill him, of course, but he will be broken down and every memory taken apart and studied." The man turned toward the door. "I'll see myself out, and thank you for making certain we apprehended a dangerous rogue element, Dr. Price."

Stephen only nodded. He had gone cold again and recognized that he'd been manipulated and lied to. He went to check the monitors. John was strapped down to a table, awake and struggling. He watched as several agents went in to talk to him. He knew it was more than just talking. He sighed and tried himself. 'John, just tell them what they want to know.'

'Fuck you, you bastard! You fucking sold me out!'

'I was given a direct order, John. I told you that I couldn't disobey a direct order. Cooperate and I'll make sure you're not killed.'

'No. You betrayed me, Stephen. If Jedikiah could see what you've become, he'd be turning over in his grave and you know it. You've become something even worse than him. I can't believe I ever trusted you enough to let my guard down. I could have fallen in love with you, Stephen. I was on my way to that, you know. I was thinking about coming back. Not for Ultra, but for you. I knew there was no chance for us, but I didn't care. I can't believe I was ever that stupid. I can't believe I even considered the possibility that you might have cared about me, even a little bit.'

Stephen didn't break down. He didn't even think about it. Instead, he felt a chill settle over him. 'Thank you, John. You've just made something very clear to me. Now I know why Jedikiah was the way he was before he met me.'

'What are you talking about?'

'He cut himself off from his emotions, John. He did it because they got in the way. He had no friends, no repeated lovers, nothing. Not until he met me. It took him a while to open himself up, yeah, because he had to become vulnerable to really love me. He did love me, and of that I have no doubt, and I still love him, even though he's no longer here, but you? I feel nothing for you. Not anymore. I feel nothing for anyone anymore. You killed Jedikiah once, John, and now you've killed me the same way.' Stephen turned away from the monitors.

'You don't mean that.'

'Every word.'

'You cold hearted bastard.'

'Precisely. Since you decided I was your enemy without even asking why I did this, I'll go ahead and tell you. I was promised something that I didn't get. I fell for the oldest fucking trick in the book. Once I realized that, I was going to try and get you out of here alive before they could telepathically dissect your brain.' Stephen felt a small, but cold, smile touch his lips at the shock that came through. He ignored John's further comments as he went to get his briefcase and leave the office. He paused when he saw a new file on his desk. He'd noticed when it was dropped off, but he didn't think much of it. What caught his attention was the name on the file. Luca Jameson. He opened the file, looked at the first page, then began cursing as he closed the file, shoved it in his briefcase, and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Stephen decided to stop by and visit with his mother before going home. He'd called to make sure she was still home, then parked around the corner and walked the rest of the way. He knocked on the door.

Marla opened the door with a smile. She welcomed Stephen inside and gave him a hug. He returned it, though he did not smile back. She made him sit down and went to get them both a drink.

Stephen accepted the soda he was offered, but he set it down. "We need to talk." He stayed quite serious about the whole discussion.

Marla nodded and sat down next to Stephen. "About?"

"Luca." Stephen leaned back and turned slightly, resting one arm along the back of the sofa, looking directly at Marla. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"Stephen, you've been grieving. You still are." Marla reached over and rested a hand on Stephen's arm, then ran it down to his hand. "I didn't want to bother you with it."

Stephen sighed and shook his head. "Mom, you have to trust me right now. I need Luca to come into the office. If I'm right about what's going on, I'll tell you everything, but right now, I need you to trust me."

Marla's fingers closed around Stephen's hand. "You're scaring me, Stephen. What do you think is wrong with Luca?"

"Nothing, Mom." Stephen closed his fingers around hers. "Please, just trust me." He was relieved when she nodded.

"Okay. I'll bring him tomorrow." Marla looked over her shoulder toward the stairs. "He's upstairs right now. I told him you were going to come over. Should I go get him?"

Stephen was silent for a moment, then shook his head. "I'll see him tomorrow and I have to go." He stood up and helped his mother up. He gave her a hug. "Take care, mom."

Marla returned the hug. "Are you sure you won't stay?"

Stephen smiled faintly, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I can't. I have to get an early start tomorrow. What time should I expect you?"

"In the afternoon. I'll tell Luca to come to your office if I don't pick him up in time." Marla walked with Stephen to the door. "It will be after school, of course."

Stephen nodded. "Of course. Thanks."

"Just remember, you owe me an explanation." Marla kissed Stephen on the cheek. "Good night, Stephen. I love you."

Stephen tolerated the kiss, then nodded. "Good night." He forced a smile, then left the house, heading back to his car to go home.

It was five in the afternoon when Luca showed up at the office. He was brought to Stephen's office and left there. Stephen was there and waiting. He and Luca had a rather decent conversation, though halfway through, neither of them were actually talking. Stephen actually smiled at that.

Stephen finally explained what was going on with Luca. He even demonstrated a few things. Luca wasn't completely sure he was willing to join up and learn, much to Stephen's dismay.

Shortly after six, Marla arrived, glad to see that Luca was with Stephen. She apologized and swore she would make it up to Luca.

Stephen smirked and shook his head. "Don't worry so much." He looked at Luca with a raised brow, then shook his head again.

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm missing something?" Marla looked between her boys.

"Because you are. I did promise the truth." Stephen looked at Luca. "Give us a minute?" He waited until Luca left the room, then turned back to Marla. "Dad wasn't crazy, mom. Neither am I, nor is Luca. We're all different."

"What do you mean?" Marla frowned, then gasped as a pen levitated from the desk, then spun in the air. Stephen's hand was directly over it. "Stephen, how is that happening?"

Stephen just looks at her before she reaches out and takes it, checking it over for anything that could have caused it. "It was no trick."

"Did Jedikiah know?" Marla looked at Stephen, a little afraid now.

Stephen nodded once. "He knew. It's a big part of what we do here. We find others like me, like Luca, and we determine if we can help them."

"Help how?" Marla frowned.

"Train them. Sometimes we can't. If we can't, then we have a way to reverse it. Sometimes people aren't given a choice to join us. They're typically violent and there's no way to bring them in alive." Stephen noticed the way that news hit his mother. "Here." He handed her a tablet. "These are a few of the bad ones. We can't help these kids. All we can do is take their abilities away and send them home. Sometimes, we can't send them home. Either they don't have a home or they refuse to go back home. If they're under eighteen, we call the state."

"Luca?"

"We can train him." Stephen smiled faintly. "I can't do it myself, but I do have people who can."

"Why can't you?" Marla frowned.

"He's my brother. I'd want to go easier on him because of that."

"Who trained you?"

"Several different people. I'll oversee his training, just as Jed oversaw mine, but I won't be doing it myself."

"I want to make sure he's okay. I haven't forgotten the bruises you had when you first started being an intern here. I'm assuming that was from training."

Stephen sighed and nodded. "It was. Training is not easy. Nor is it fun. It's hard work."

"And if he says no?"

"That's not an option."

"So he's trapped? He has to do this or what?"

Stephen shakes his head. "I can't let him walk away. He either agrees or we reverse it. It has to be his choice alone and he's already asked for time to decide. I've agreed to that, but he's being monitored and tracked."

Marla stood up. "And what is stopping me from going to the press about something like this?"

Stephen stood up as well. "I'd highly advise not doing that." There's no emotion in that voice. "If people in general knew about us, there would be chaos. People like me and Luca would be hunted and killed." He grabbed a remote and pointed it at a monitor. He brought up a file. "That kid? He teleported into the CIA last month. He managed to steal a list of undercover agents in the Middle East. We caught him when he tried to sell those names." He clicked a button. "That girl? She liked to hang around the UN. Got blackmail material that way on a lot of different ambassadors. Things that no one could have known." He dropped the remote on his desk.

Marla looked at the two kids on the screen, then back to Stephen. "Again, what's stopping me."

Stephen sighed and rubbed his temples. "It's simple really. You make any move to talk about it, I'll have to give the one order I really don't want to."

Marla narrowed her eyes. "And what is that?"

Stephen closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. When he did, he saw Marla's shock. He knew he looked like Jedikiah had when they had first met. "I'll have to have you killed."

Marla took a step backward. "There is no way Luca is working here. I will not allow it."

Stephen shook his head and turned to look out the window. "He doesn't have a choice. It's this, or he has to have the injection to remove his abilities. Either of you talk about it, you'll be killed."

"We're your family." Marla kept moving toward the door.

"Yes, you are, which is why I'm allowing Luca time to decide." Stephen didn't turn around. "Everyone else has minutes to decide."

Marla's back hit the door. "What happened to you, Stephen?"

Stephen was silent for a long moment before responding. "Life happened."

"Your father is here?" Marla got a hand on the door handle.

Stephen shook his head. "No. He left. He's gone rogue."

"What does that mean?" Marla's hand tightened over the handle.

"It means he's a shoot on sight." Stephen turned then to look at Marla. "Luca already knows all this. I've explained very clearly that if he chooses to join us as an agent, there's no getting out. This is forever."

Marla turned then, pulled the door open and started out. She turned before letting the door shut. "If you give the order to kill your own father, I will never, ever, forgive you."

"He's not my father." Stephen spit out before the door could close. If Marla heard him, there was no reaction. A day later, Luca came back to the office, shook hands with Stephen, and began his training.

John spent three days in hell before Stephen came to see him. Even then, he watched through a window in the door for a few moments before walking in. John glared at Stephen. "Your father once told me to find you. He said you'd help us. I guess he didn't expect Jedikiah getting hold of you first."

Stephen leaned up against the wall. "Do you know where he is?"

John shook his head. "No, but even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you." He spit toward Stephen, though it fell short.

Stephen sighed. "I'm not your enemy, John."

"You handed me over, Stephen. You crossed that line." John looked away. "Why didn't you ever want to see me?"

"Conflict of interest." Stephen's voice was soft, bordering on sad. "I'm not emotionless, John. I didn't want this to happen. I was given a direct order to bring you in." He looked away.

John growled toward Stephen. "Just go the fuck away, Stephen. Don't come back."

Stephen sighed. "Tomorrow afternoon, four thirty. You're going to be transferred to another facility."

John snorted. "Fine." He did wonder why he was being told. He'd understand the following afternoon. He was was cuffed and being led through the corridors. The power went out. The cuffs weren't affected, but he was able to use the incident to knock out his escorts and run toward the exit.

Stephen was calm about the power loss. He just put in a call to determine why the backup generators weren't working when he heard the commotion outside. He left his office and went toward the main entrance. A verbal alarm was being raised that John had slipped his escort and was on the loose in the building.

John went for a side door that he hoped was less guarded. He was right, but Stephen was there. John stayed hidden, just watching and waiting. When Stephen sent the agents to the front entrance, John made his move. He charged at Stephen, knocking him down with a blow to the head using his cuffs. He looked down at the younger man, used Stephen's key to unlock the cuffs. He turned to leave but hesitated only slightly when he saw the blood start pooling from where Stephen's head hit the stairs, then took off out the side door. Had he waited a minute longer, he would have seen how badly Stephen had been hurt when the young man started seizing. He did hear the shouts of alarm, but quickly realized it wasn't aimed toward him. It was from them finding Stephen.


	7. Chapter 7

Stephen woke in the infirmary with a bandage on his forehead. He winced as he touched said bandage. When he tried to sit up, he let out a moan and slid back down. The noise brought a nurse.

"Don't try and get up yet. You have a severe concussion." The nurse helped Stephen to get comfortable again. "Dr. Carter wants you to stay here so we can monitor you."

"What happened?" Stephen managed to say without whimpering, though he winced.

"John Young escaped during the power loss. We think he went out the side door you were watching. He attacked you from behind. You were lucky there. Just have some bruising and a nasty lump. That hit knocked you forward, hitting the edge of the stairs. That's what knocked you out and gave you a concussion. It could have been worse. A few inches forward and you might have broken your neck on the stairs." Dr. Carter commented as he walked in. "Sorry, Stephen, but you cannot be alone tonight. We've been waking you regularly, but this is the first time you've been responsive enough to talk."

"How long?" Stephen whispered, wincing at the throbbing in his head.

"So far? Five hours." Dr. Carter sat down on a stool. He pulled a flashlight from his lab coat pocket and began to check Stephen over. "Follow the light."

Stephen did so, though he had to stop and close his eyes. A few seconds later, he began to heave. The nurse was there with a pan and Stephen was moved to his side before his stomach emptied everything that had been in there.

Dr. Carter waited patiently until Stephen was resting again after he had been given medication to calm his stomach. "Stephen, if you want, I can call your mother. I know she's a nurse. She might want to come help care for you."

Stephen didn't move, but he did respond. "Sure, but she's pissed at me right now."

Dr. Carter smiled faintly. "I'll be back." He left the room to call Marla.

Thirty minutes later, Marla was by Stephen's side. He had gone back to sleep. After another thirty minutes, she gently woke him up. When he blinked his eyes open and focused on her, he let out a sigh. "I didn't think you'd come." He whispered with a wince.

Marla smiled softly, responding in a whisper. "How could I not? You're my son, Stephen." Stephen held out a hand and Marla took it. "Luca told me what happened, but I didn't know if you wanted me to come up here. When Dr. Carter called, I came as fast as I could."

"Oh." Stephen closed his eyes and winced. "Can you find out if they can give me anything for this headache?"

Marla nodded. "I'll find out." She stood up, hesitated, then leaned over and kissed Stephen's forehead before leaving the room.

A nurse returned with Marla and injected something in the IV Stephen had. He whimpered at the cold feeling of the medication, but soon relaxed.

Marla sat back down next to Stephen. "Dr. Carter suggested I apply to work here in the infirmary. Something about protocol being broken recently." She looked at Stephen.

Stephen sighed. "Yeah. I wasn't supposed to tell you, but having both of us here, I figured you had a right to know. It probably would be a good idea if you worked here, but that doesn't mean I want you to."

Marla frowned. "Why not?"

Stephen kept his eyes closed and for a moment, he seemed to be asleep until he finally spoke. "Because you help people, mom. We don't always do that. You'd be treating us after we were hurt hunting down people. Very rarely would you treat anyone we brought in. Sometimes it's just not worth it. Sometimes they screwed up so badly that they're going to be killed."

Marla drew back a bit. "How can you talk about killing people so casually, Stephen?"

Stephen snorted, then winced. "If you think I'm casual about it, you should have seen Jedikiah."

"Stephen, was he a murderer?" Marla almost didn't want to hear the answer.

"There were times he had to kill, but never just because he could. There was always a reason." Stephen opened his eyes and looked at Marla. "What do you think people would do if they found out about us?"

Marla was too stunned to respond, so Stephen continued. "They'd panic and we'd probably be shot on sight. There are people in the government that know about us, mom. We have to take action here and now or they will. If they do it, all of us will be rounded up and, most likely, killed. So, I give the hard orders to keep the government from coming in and taking over. If I have to order someone to pull a trigger, I'll do it."

"If you can't do it yourself, you shouldn't tell someone else to do it." Marla frowned.

"I can't." Stephen sighed and closed his eyes again. "We call it the Prime Barrier. It keeps my kind from being able to kill. I literally can't shoot to kill." He opened his eyes and tried to focus on Marla before yawning. "We were researching a way to burn the barrier out, but I've put a stop to that project, and no, Jedikiah did not suggest I volunteer for it. In fact, he discouraged it."

"Why?" Marla was just stunned still.

"Because only two people have ever survived it and one of them went insane." Stephen's words started to slur a little and he yawned again. "The other one went rogue." He felt Marla's hand smoothing his hair back gently.

"Go to sleep, Stephen. I'll be here." Marla waited until Stephen was asleep, then went to talk with Dr. Carter.

Stephen was kept for several days under observation, and after showing no more ill effects from the concussion and they let him go home. Not five minutes after locking the door behind him, there was a light knock. He grumbled, but answered it.

John stood there, looking somewhat guilty. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard. Sorry."

"Go away, John." Stephen sighed. "I could get into serious trouble for just talking to you."

John stepped inside the apartment. "I know. I won't stay long. I just wanted to know that you were okay." He lightly touched the edge of the bandage on Stephen's forehead.

"Seven stitches. When you hit me from behind, I landed on the edge of the stairs." Stephen saw the wince from John. "I didn't want to do it, you know."

John watched Stephen carefully for a moment, then nodded. "I know." He sighed. "I really was close to coming back, Stephen." He looked away.

"Why?" Stephen watched John cross the room to look out the glass door to the balcony. "Why would you want to come back?"

"For you." John whispered, not sure he was heard until he caught Stephen's reflection in the glass coming up behind him. He closed his eyes as Stephen's arms slid around him.

Neither of them spoke. They just stayed there like that for a while. When Stephen began to sway a little, John turned and led Stephen to his bedroom and got him laying down. "Do you need me to stay?"

Stephen shook his head. "No. I don't have to wake up regularly anymore."

John sighed. "That's not what I was asking, but I'm glad you're past that potential danger."

"Oh." Stephen's breathing picked up a bit, close to panic. "You can't stay in here." He shook his head.

John nodded. "It's okay, Stephen. I'll leave for now. You know how to get in touch with me if you need me."

Stephen barely nodded. He didn't speak though. He didn't even look up as John teleported out. He curled in on himself and didn't even notice as he started crying. He'd stopped noticing a month ago. He pulled the pillow over and inhaled. Jedikiah's scent was no longer there, but his mind conjured it up as usual. Again, just between sleep and awake, he felt Jedikiah come to bed and press up behind him. He'd swear the following day that Jedikiah made love to him that night. He'd swear he could feel Jedikiah's fingers prepping him and then being penetrated. He slipped into unconsciousness after vaguely realizing that he'd come in his boxers, even though his arms had stayed locked around the pillow. When he woke in the morning, he winced at the sticky feeling. He'd turned to look behind him on the bed and trembled when he found no one there. He got up and showered.

When Stephen got into the office, he went to the infirmary first so they could check on his stitches. He was patient while the bandage was changed. When he was given a clean bill of health, he went to talk to Rebecca.

"I'm losing my mind." Stephen declared as he walked in. He sat down and looked at the psychiatrist.

"Why do you say that?" Rebecca frowned as she looked up.

Stephen didn't respond in words. He just shared with her what had occurred the previous night. He knew his face was beet red with the intimate details, but he knew she wouldn't judge him. He looked away as he continued with every detail he could remember.

Rebecca leaned back after Stephen was done sharing everything. She watched him for a moment. "I'm going to suggest we put a camera in your bedroom. I just want to make sure no one is taking advantage of you."

"I'd know if it wasn't him, Rebecca. It's him. Somehow, he's still there." Stephen looked at her.

"Someone may be screwing with you, Stephen. That's my main concern. I want to make sure no one is going in there at night to mess with your mind." Rebecca frowned. "Jedikiah had enemies, Stephen. I wouldn't put it past them to go after you now when you're at your most vulnerable."

Stephen nodded then. "Okay." He hadn't argued, which he could tell pleased Rebecca.

That night, Stephen knew the camera was there. He tried not to cry once he was in bed, but the tears came anyway. He tried to keep them silent, but he knew a few sobs were audible. Once he was in that state, Jedikiah's scent overwhelmed him. He felt himself being pulled onto his back from his side. He thought he'd opened his eyes to see his deceased husband straddling his hips. He could feel those hands on his chest. He was certain that Jedikiah was riding him that night. He could feel that tight heat that he'd missed so much. He could hear Jedikiah's moans and cries. For the second night in a row, he came, untouched. In the morning, he woke to a sticky mess in his boxers.

Rebecca came to Stephen's office that morning with a tablet. She handed it over and watched him while he hit play on the video. It was set at the point where he turned on his back. There was no one there.

Stephen watched as his hips rocked upward and remembered what he could feel at that time. He looked at Rebecca, head tilted questioningly. He looked back at the video when she pointed toward the tablet. He frowned as he watched.

Rebecca nodded slightly. "Nothing happened, Stephen." She waited for his nod. "My instinct was that you were dreaming him up. Maybe you are." She shrugged. "Or maybe his soul, or whatever is left, is staying with you because you need him so badly right now."

Stephen swallowed hard, then nodded. "If he's still there, how can I really heal? If I keep feeling like we're making love again night after night, how will I ever stop hurting?" He closed his eyes and swiped angrily at the tear that fell.

Rebecca frowned. "I have a suggestion, but I don't know if you can do it or not. Someone needs to stay with you overnight. One of us. Preferably in the same room. If your mind is conjuring him up, we'll know. If he's still hanging around, I'm sure we can find someone who has experience with this."

Stephen was silent for a moment, then leaned back. "Is it possible for one of us to plant a suggestion in someone's mind to make them experience something like this?"

Rebecca raised both brows in surprise, then shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't heard of anything like that."

"Would you be able to tell if you got in someone's mind?" Stephen looked at Rebecca questioningly.

"Maybe. If the person let me in completely." Rebecca shrugged again. "But I don't know."

"The Founder talked about how a soul can hang around after death and how it can be a painful experience. He talked about it like he knew what I was going through. Either he read me without me knowing about it, or he planted a suggestion previously when he talked to me about how much he knew Jedikiah meant to me." Stephen sighed and closed his eyes. "Just see if he did anything to me. Please."

Rebecca nodded. "Okay." She stood up and moved the chair to sit next to Stephen, facing him. She took his hand and entered his mind.


	8. Chapter 8

_"Stephen, hold still!" Jedikiah was laughing as he tried to straighten Stephen's tie while the younger man was bouncing with excitement. It was their wedding day and both of them were nervous and excited._

_"Sorry." Stephen grinned and was anything but. He managed to stay still long enough. When Jedikiah moved his hands from Stephen's tie to his shoulders, Stephen swooped in and kissed Jedikiah deeply. He sighed into the kiss, slipping his arms around Jedikiah's waist and pulling the older man against him._

_Jedikiah closed his eyes with a soft moan. He'd looked tired as well as excited. He kept the kiss from going further as he finally managed to pull away. "We have to go or we'll be late." He smiled as he moved his hands down Stephen's arms to take his hands, twining their fingers together._

_They left the apartment and went to the church they had chosen. Their decision had been made since the pastor had agreed to marry them. No other religious official had agreed, so it was this one or a civil ceremony. Stephen had wanted the church setting if possible. Jedikiah had made it possible._

_Stephen's mother and brother were there. Rebecca had come. Some of the agents that worked with them had come. A few of Stephen's friends from medical school had been there. Jedikiah had managed to make a friend or two that joined them. Dr. Carter was there as well._

_When the time had come, they had asked to speak their own vows. The pastor had given them a nod to let them know when._

_"Jedikiah, when you first walked into my life, I had no idea that you would become my sole reason for living. When you told me that you wanted me to be with you, that was when you changed my life forever. When I found out about your leukemia, I wanted to scream about the unfairness of it all. I think I did, actually. I don't remember. What I do know is that I knew even then that I was in this for the long haul. They say 'in sickness and health' and I understand that now. I was by your side then. I am by your side now. I will be by your side for days to come. They say 'until death do us part' and, while we know it's coming, sooner than we both want, I don't see it as until death. The way I see it, there is a life after death, and we will be together again then. I see it as 'for all eternity'. Jedikiah Price, I love you. I will stay by your side, now, and for all eternity."_

_"Stephen, when I first met you, I had been hurt so badly in the past that I was shut off from everything. I didn't even recognize love anymore. You confused me so much that I was beside myself trying to sort everything out. I made mistakes. So many of them. And I am so very fortunate that you stayed with me even when others would have walked out and left me to suffer alone. I lied to you and I hurt you and yet you stayed. I can't even begin to understand why, but I know that I am so grateful for that. In you, I found redemption. I found love. Unconditional and pure love. Even though I will leave you soon, know that I'll always be with you in your heart. I know you believe that there is an afterlife. I hope beyond all hope that you are right because I want nothing more than to spend all eternity with you."_

_Rings were exchanged and the ceremony was over. There had been a small get together at Marla's house. Stephen and Jedikiah hadn't stayed long because of how tired Jedikiah had been. Stephen had taken Jedikiah home. He'd helped his now husband get undressed. They had climbed into the shower together and Stephen helped Jedikiah wash up. When they got out, they didn't bother with any clothing, even underwear. They just dried off and Stephen helped Jedikiah get comfortable before getting into bed next to his husband. He pulled Jedikiah into his arms and just held him._

Rebecca smiled faintly at the memory, but knew it was important somehow. She dug a bit deeper.

_Jedikiah shivered against the cold wind that blew across the landscape. Snow was blown around and settled on his woolen cap. He looked up to see Stephen holding a camera and smiled at him as the camera clicked. He pulled his arms around himself then, shivering again._

_Stephen set the camera down and sat next to Jedikiah, hugging him gently to provide a bit more protection against the cold. "Why here?"_

_"I just wanted to get out of the city." Jedikiah rested his head against Stephen's shoulder. "I needed to get fresh air." It was more than that and they both knew it._

_Stephen didn't push it. He just smiled and kissed Jedikiah's forehead. "We should have brought a tent or something."_

_"Why?" Jedikiah grinned like he already knew the answer._

_"Because I'd take you in the tent and make love to you right here and now." Stephen whispered in Jedikiah's ear._

_"Here? In public?" Jedikiah looked up at Stephen with laughter dancing in his eyes._

_"Oh, shut up. No one is around. If I knew for certain no one would wander through, I'd fuck you right here on this blanket." Stephen grinned._

_Jedikiah whimpered at the thought and closed his eyes. "Take me home, Stephen. Take me home and make love to me."_

_Stephen was a little confused at the change in attitude. Jedikiah would normally have continued with the teasing and made sure he was taken hard when Stephen got him back home. He knew Jedikiah hadn't been feeling well, so that may have been why he wasn't continuing with their game. Still, he stood up, helping Jedikiah up before collecting the blanket and the bag that had held the sandwiches they had brought._

_Jedikiah had a hard time walking back to the car, but it wasn't just the leukemia that caused the problem. He was also cold. Once he warmed up, he was able to move easier. He fell asleep on the drive back home. When he woke up, he was in their bed and in Stephen's arms. He smiled and snuggled closer._

_They did make love that night with Jedikiah on his side and Stephen pressed up behind him. It had been an unhurried affair and Stephen's focus had been strictly on Jedikiah._

Rebecca backed away from that memory once it became too personal. She knew Stephen knew what she had seen by the blush creeping up. She smiled reassuringly and he nodded back. She continued looking.

_Stephen was sitting on the front pew of the church he and Jedikiah were married in. The funeral wasn't until tomorrow, but he didn't know where else to go. He tried not to think about what was coming. He'd left the funeral home and come here. The pastor had already agreed to do the service at the chapel in the funeral home and Stephen wasn't going to change that plan._

_The pastor noticed Stephen and came into the sanctuary. He joined Stephen, sitting next to him. There were no words spoken. They just sat there together in silence. The pastor put an arm around Stephen and let the young man lean against him and cry. He offered no words of comfort. He was just there._

_It took ten minutes before Stephen had regained enough composure to stop crying. He was grateful that the pastor hadn't gotten religious on him about how Jedikiah was in a better place now. He was angry at God right now for taking Jedikiah away from him._

_The two of them sat there in silence for the next two hours. Stephen allowed the pastor to comfort him. Rebecca was the one to locate Stephen and she collected him and brought him back home. She had stayed in the guest room while Stephen had cried himself to sleep while curled around Jedikiah's pillow._

Rebecca pulled away from that memory with tears in her eyes. She had felt everything Stephen had. The despair had nearly overwhelmed her. She went in again.

_Stephen was dreaming. He was running down a dark corridor with a light at the end. In that light, Jedikiah was holding out a hand to him. No matter how far Stephen ran, the end of the tunnel was always just out of reach. Stephen stopped running to catch his breath. He leaned against a wall and the wall crumbled away. He fell through and into complete darkness. As he was falling, he screamed out for Jedikiah. He closed his eyes against the darkness and was soon enveloped in light. He stopped falling and felt arms around him. A voice he didn't recognize, but felt as though he should, told him that everything would be okay. Jedikiah was still with him and he would know that soon._

Rebecca pulled back and let go of Stephen's hand. She had recognized that voice from Stephen's dream.

"What is it?" Stephen saw the look on Rebecca's face and knew she'd found something.

"I know who did this to you." Rebecca frowned. "What's surprising is that you don't."

Stephen frowned. "Who?"

"Your father."

Stephen swallowed hard and shook his head. "Why?"

Rebecca sighed and shook her head. "I don't know."


	9. Chapter 9

The following day, Stephen was writing a report when the Founder walked in to his office. He looked up in irritation that turned quickly to surprise. He wasn't expecting this particular visitor. "What can I do for you?"

The Founder took a seat. "Rebecca contacted me. Something about your father? I thought I would check in on you myself."

Stephen sighed. "She thinks he did something to me."

"Made you somehow manifest Jedikiah in moments of weakness." The Founder frowned, but nodded. "It makes sense, in a very morbid way, Stephen. This is crippling you. It will eventually make you careless. I can try and help by blocking him."

Stephen leaned back in his chair, then nodded. "Okay." He watched the Founder stand and approach. He wasn't comfortable letting this man close to him. He'd been manipulated once already by him.

"I'm going to have to place a block. I'll make it easier for you. I did promise you memories of him." The Founder reached down and took Stephen's hand and the world melted away.

_Jedikiah was in his late twenties before the leukemia had taken hold of him. He was sitting on a couch with a beer in hand, laughing with a young Founder. They were watching television during a break from working. The Founder didn't typically hang out with humans, but Jedikiah was different. He liked Jedikiah and the man was a genius in the field of genetics. Plus, his brother, Roger, was like him. It was Roger he really wanted on his side, but the man hadn't wanted to do anything without Jedikiah involved, so the Founder had gotten to know Jedikiah._

_Someone knocked on the door and Jedikiah had gotten up to answer it. When he opened the door, a young man was there. Jedikiah had smiled warmly and let him in. There was a kiss and some laughter. Jedikiah led the man to the couch where they both sat. The man pulled Jedikiah on his lap, clearly Jedikiah's dom._

_The Founder had watched this with some amusement, but wasn't too interested in what was going on. The next knock had him getting up to answer the door and pay for the pizza that they had ordered. When it was set on the coffee table, Jedikiah had gotten his and his boyfriend's plate. He watched Jedikiah actually feed his dom before eating anything himself. He finally left after things had ramped up a bit between those two._

The memory shifted.

_Jedikiah, now in his early-thirties, had broken up with his dom after the man hadn't listened when Jedikiah had screamed out his safe word. He was currently staying with the Founder and was actually scared that the man would find him. Jedikiah hadn't wanted to disturb Roger and his family. The Founder hadn't seen this coming. He was usually good about judging people, but he hadn't thought that Kyle would hurt Jedikiah past the few bruises he'd seen on Jedikiah's wrists from where he'd clearly been tied up._

_The Founder had been shocked when a bruised, battered, and bloody Jedikiah had knocked on his door at one in the morning, shaking uncontrollably and in tears. He'd let him in immediately and wanted to go after Jedikiah's dom. Jedikiah hadn't let him. In fact, he'd begged him not to try. Kyle was drunk and had a gun. He'd told a fleeing Jedikiah that if he came back, he'd make sure Jedikiah couldn't run away again. He'd break his legs and make sure he didn't get treatment. Jedikiah Price would disappear, never to be seen again. Instead, they had coffee and sat on the couch while the Founder tended to Jedikiah to make sure there was no major damage._

_In the morning, they had gone to a young Dr. Carter and had Jedikiah checked out. It was when it was first noticed something was wrong. The Founder had seen the test results which showed an elevated white blood cell count, but he had not been told what the cause was. He knew more tests had been scheduled. When he next saw Jedikiah, it was clear the news hadn't been good. He didn't want to intrude on Jedikiah's privacy, so he went to look in his friend's file. He saw nothing out of the ordinary._

_The next time he saw Jedikiah, he did make a comment about the extra tests. While Jedikiah had told him it was nothing, his thoughts were screaming out that it was leukemia and he was good and fucked. The only saving grace was that it was CLL and that it was stage 1. With that realization, the Founder began to look for a way to help Jedikiah without embarrassing the man. He knew that Jedikiah hadn't realized he'd been broadcasting so he vowed he would never let anyone know until Jedikiah was comfortable enough to tell them. He knew Jedikiah had switched the paperwork._

As that memory faded, another showed up.

_Jedikiah had gone to talk to the Founder after Stephen had graduated from high school. He admitted that he was in another relationship with a dom. The Founder had not been happy about hearing that and demanded to know who it was. Jedikiah hadn't flinched. He'd admitted that it was Stephen. The Founder had been surprised, but wanted to ensure himself that Stephen was not hurting Jedikiah. He asked Jedikiah to share so he could see for himself._

_Jedikiah had let the Founder in so he could see it for himself. The Founder had been stunned by the depth of what Jedikiah was feeling for the teen, even if Jedikiah didn't realize it. He didn't question it. Instead, he had made sure the file would make it's way to Stephen's hands. The kid had a right to know that his sub was sick. He hadn't been happy about the relationship since Jedikiah was human and Stephen was not, but Stephen's influence was changing Jedikiah back to how he had been before his world had been turned upside down._

_When he found out that Jedikiah had taken fourteen ondansetron, he ordered both Jedikiah and Stephen to take some time off. He'd questioned Rebecca but was only told that Jedikiah had been in pain. He was not looking forward to the day when Jedikiah would be told there was nothing more they could do. He did not want to lose his friend. He also had felt how attached Stephen had become to Jedikiah and that was going to be a problem unto itself. He would do whatever he could to help Stephen make it through a difficult time._

The memory faded and a new one came up.

_Stephen was hurting badly and the Founder knew it. He had given Stephen an order to bring John Young in. Stephen had hesitated and the Founder knew why. He knew that Stephen had been intimate with the rogue. He really didn't care about that. This was more of a test to see if Stephen would do what was ordered. John was brought in. When he escaped, the Founder knew Stephen had set it up. He didn't care about that either. What mattered is that Stephen had done as ordered._

_The day of John's capture, the Founder had gone to talk to Stephen. He'd seen that Stephen was haunted by Jedikiah's memory even to the point of believing he was there at night. It concerned him, but he had to try and convince Stephen that Jedikiah was not physically there. He would always be there in memory, but not physically._

_Stephen had brushed it off, but things were getting worse. He needed Stephen to be stable. Stephen had to be able to continue with running the office as Jedikiah had wanted. He'd picked up the pieces with Jedikiah once and he would do it again for Stephen. Not because he felt like he had to, but because Jedikiah had been his friend and Stephen had been the most important person in Jedikiah's life._

When the memory faded, the Founder pulled back. He watched Stephen for a moment before returning to his seat. "I've done what I can. If It happens again, let me know."

Stephen barely nodded through the tears that were threatening to fall. "Did you ever catch that son of a bitch?"

The Founder knew who Stephen was referring to. He nodded once. "We did. Jedikiah never knew about it. The bastard actually proudly admitted to raping him that night. Said that he deserved it since he broke their rules and needed to be punished. I told him that I knew Jedikiah had used his safe word and asked why that was ignored. Again, he said it was punishment. I planted a suggestion in his mind that he would experience a rape every night for the rest of his life. He's still alive and locked away so he won't hurt himself. I had nothing to do with that. His family became concerned after his first suicide attempt. After his second, they admitted him to a mental facility." He smiled faintly. "It was much better than he deserved, but this is poetic justice. Jedikiah refused to press charges against the man because he was truly scared of him."

Stephen managed to get himself under control. "I'd seen the attack, but he refused to talk about it. He got mad that I'd even seen it. It really wasn't my fault. He had been loudly thinking about it after seeing someone who looked similar."

"I'd seen him react much the same at times. It got better after he met you, though. May I ask when you realized he leaned toward the submissive?" The Founder seemed curious.

"Umm, well, we were together about a month before he called me 'sir'. I didn't know what to make of that and I did some research on it. I have to admit that when we were first together, I did dominate him. I just didn't realize he was a sub then." Stephen shrugged. "When I figured it out, I wasn't opposed to being his dom. I actually enjoyed it because he needed me to be that for him so badly. I sat him down and we talked about his limits and I made sure never to cross them." He sighed and shook his head. "He never had to use his safe word and I always focused on him." He started to tear up.

The Founder nodded and leaned back. "You were the second dom he ever had more than once, Stephen, and when he told me about you, I made damned sure that you didn't hurt him."

Stephen sighed and looked at the Founder. "There were times we hurt each other, but not how you mean." He hesitated, then looked away. "His suicide attempt was because he thought he'd lost me because of what he'd shown me about Ultra. After I'd found out about the leukemia, he thought he'd lost me even then. I tried to tell him then that I was not going to leave him. I loved him too much to walk away."

The Founder frowned and sent a wave of sympathy to Stephen. "Stephen, I'll be honest. I do not want you to shut yourself off from everyone. I watched Jedikiah do that and it was not pleasant. No one wants to see you become emotionless and cold."

Stephen turned to stare out the window. "He thought of me as a game at first. He knew I was attracted to him, but he didn't care."

"And all that changed. He'd become so cold inside that he didn't know he'd fallen in love with you."

"I know. It happened when we were just casually dating. I'm not even sure I can call it that. I was still in high school. We did go to dinner a few times, but nothing serious. At least I didn't think it was. He'd told me to wait until after I graduated, so I forced myself to keep my distance until then. My mom suspected I was seeing him after work and she wasn't happy about it. She told me that I had to come clean or leave after graduation."

"We do need to talk about her, Stephen. I know you broke protocol."

"I had to. My brother broke out. She'd never have believed he was just interning here. It worked for me because I love science and because, at the time, I wanted to find my father. Jed was a link to him. I thought I could use that to find him. Instead, well, I found my soul." Stephen sighed and finally looked back at the Founder. "I know what I did was not normal procedure. Dr. Carter has convinced her to seriously consider a job in the infirmary and I'm encouraging her to put in an application."

"Will she?"

"I think so." Stephen shrugged. "I think she will simply to keep an eye on Luca. She wasn't happy about me getting bruised up. In fact, she told Jed off rather early on. He wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. I was actually worried that he was going to lash out at her, but he sat there and took it." He smiled faintly. "I apologized for her, but he brushed it off. I think that night was when I realized how much I respected him. I started to see him differently then."

"And at that time, you believed him to be your flesh and blood uncle."

Stephen nodded. "It's what he told me. He even had a picture of them together. I didn't know he was in the foster system until he told me. He never talked about it before that time or again after. I asked several times, but he kept telling me it didn't matter."

The Founder was silent for a moment, then sighed. "Would you like to know why?"

Stephen hesitated, then shrugged. "Am I going to want to kill someone?"

"Probably."

"I shouldn't know, but I want to."

The Founder nodded. "First, understand that Jedikiah's mother died giving birth to him. It was just him and his father. Jedikiah's father molested him from the age of five until he finally told his second grade teacher about the game his father played with him because he thought his teacher wanted to play it too since he had taken an interest in Jedikiah due to his intelligence. Even then, Jedikiah tested at genius levels. His teacher called the state and a formal investigation was started. Jedikiah was removed from his father during the investigation. When it was only his word against his father's, and no actual evidence could be collected, he was returned to him. Jedikiah had only ever been touched, so he was still a virgin. His father waited several months until the state dropped the case completely before beating Jedikiah for talking about it as well as properly raping him. He'd locked Jedikiah in a closet, but he got free and ran away that night. He found his teacher's address and went there. He didn't change clothes, so evidence could be collected. His teacher took him to the hospital where they had discovered the rape. Jedikiah's father tried to pin it on the teacher, but the bruising patterns were matched to Jedikiah's father and not the teacher." The Founder could see the anger there. "His father died in prison, Stephen. He was beaten several times by the general population while the guards turned their backs. Eventually, one of the beatings was fatal. There was no inquiry. Jedikiah went from foster home to foster home. He was scared of the men in the homes, but when he went to the Price home, he found his final home. Roger was different and Jedikiah was fascinated by that as well. His foster father managed to forge a bond with Jedikiah, which taught him that not all men were sadistic bastards that raped children."

Stephen just listened with equal parts fascination and disgust. "No wonder he never talked about it. He had to know it wasn't his fault."

The Founder shook his head. "He always believed it was. His father called him a little slut and a good cock sucker among other things. When he shared those memories with me, I wanted to go skin the bastard alive. I tried to convince him that it was not his fault. He told me that it was. He tried to convince me that if he had been just a little better of a son, he would never have disappointed his father. He never should have talked about it to his teacher."

Stephen bit his lower lip and winced. "I wish I'd known"

The Founder sighed. "You wouldn't have been able to convince him. But that is not why he was a sub. He loved to please his lovers. If they were a dom, he would be a sub. If they wanted an equal, he would do his best to be that. Kyle was a pure dom, but also a sadist. John is a sub in his own right, but also needed an equal. Jedikiah tried hard with John. I won't deny that he loved John, because he did. He wanted things to work with him. When John volunteered for the Annex Project, Jedikiah tried to stop him. I remember feeling the utter relief from Jedikiah when John made it out alive. When Roger walked out, it crushed Jedikiah. I wanted to make sure that Jedikiah thought Roger was dead, so I asked him to give John the order to kill Roger. I made sure the explosion was caught on camera and showed that to Jedikiah. He was heartbroken, but I reminded him that he still had John. For the time being, it worked. A month later, John walked out. I watched Jedikiah crumble, then rebuild himself. I tried to intervene, but he was lost to us already. If it had only been one of them, then I believe he wouldn't have gone the way he did. I tried to keep him from having one night stands, but you know how stubborn he was at times. I even offered myself to him." At Stephen's surprised look, he shrugged. "Jedikiah was my friend, Stephen. I'm not at all interested in men, but for Jedikiah, I would have gotten through it. To return to the earlier topic, when Jedikiah was fifteen, he came out to his foster parents that he preferred the company of men to women. He explained that he was bisexual and he expected a backlash, but his foster father merely told him that he already knew that and commented that he and his boyfriend at the time made a cute couple. He didn't talk to his foster father about his leanings toward the submissive, but rather to his foster mother. She had told him that everyone was different. If he preferred to be submissive, there was nothing wrong with that. She even found books for him to read on the subject so he knew how to be safe. Of course she had discussed safe sex with him and he promised to always use protection."

"He never did with me." Stephen looked surprised.

The Founder smiled slightly. "Because even if he didn't recognize it, he knew you were going to be the last lover he ever had. He told me when he knew he wanted to marry you. I was surprised, but happy for both of you. I knew then that you were never going to hurt him. I never violated his privacy, so I had no way to be completely sure, but when he talked about you, he lit up like nothing I'd ever seen before. The one time he did share with me, I could feel how much he loved you even if he didn't know it yet."

Stephen had been feeling proud that he hadn't broken down yet, but it was coming, he could tell. He began to chew on his lower lip. "Thank you. I don't think you know how much it means that you shared these things with me."

The Founder nodded and stood up. "I would stay longer, but I do need to take care of a few things." He started to walk out. "Oh, just one more thing. I do know of your relationship with John. For your benefit, you should break things off. Should the worst happen, I don't believe you could handle it a second time."

Stephen sighed but relented. "It was just the once. I have no intentions of anything further."

The Founder nodded. "Keep talking with Rebecca. She's your greatest resource and a strong ally for you." He didn't wait for an answer. He just walked out of the office. Stephen went home shortly after.

Stephen walked in through the door and locked it behind him. He was immediately overpowered by Jedikiah's scent. He whimpered and sagged against the door. He thought about getting his cell phone and calling the Founder, but steeled himself instead and slowly crept into the apartment. He pulled his stun gun out as he checked the main room and kitchen. No one. He started down the hall. Guest room, clear. He looked toward his bedroom and took one step before he jerked back at the sight of a shadow moving on the floor. He took a deep, but silent, breath and went forward. He silently counted to three, then barreled into the room, gun ready to fire. He immediately dropped the gun.

Jedikiah looked at Stephen with amused confusion as he put several clean shirts in a drawer. "Really, Stephen?"

Stephen paled and backed up, hitting the wall. "You're not real. I'm hallucinating. I'm losing my fucking mind." Inwardly he began screaming for Rebecca and the Founder both.


	10. Chapter 10

Rebecca was first on the scene, teleporting in almost immediately after the call was made. She gasped and stared at what Stephen had thought was a hallucination.

The Founder arrived shortly after. He had gotten the shock of disbelief from Rebecca and knew the layout. He teleported behind what was supposedly Jedikiah and threw him face down to the floor, holding him down.

"Okay, will someone tell me what is going on?" Jedikiah turned his head and looked up at the Founder, then over to Stephen. "Seriously."

The Founder let a low growl sound. "Who are you?"

"Jedikiah Price." Jedikiah frowned. "What, exactly, is going on?"

"Jedikiah is dead," hissed the Founder. "Now who are you?"

Jedikiah stared up at the Founder and clearly sent a thought directly to him.

The Founder pulled back in shock, letting Jedikiah up. He looked toward Stephen, then shook his head. 'I don't know what to think, Stephen. He knows my name, which is something that only a few people here know. Even Rebecca doesn't know it and I know you don't know it. He's not a projection of your subconscious manifested into reality. Something else is at work here.'

"Stephen sent him to Limbo." The voice was unexpected and unwelcome. Roger stood in the hallway out of range. "Obviously he didn't know he did it."

The Founder just stared at Roger with an intense hatred. Jedikiah stood up and straightened his shirt. Stephen and Rebecca both looked confused.

"I had help in getting Jedikiah's body so I could work on getting him out. He was trying to contact you, Stephen. That's why you kept dreaming about him and sensing him in that place between sleep and awake." Roger took a step back and held out a hand when the Founder took a step toward him. "I'd like a moment alone with my son and brother."

Stephen shook his head. "You aren't my father." He slid his hand into his pocket, fingers curling around his cell phone. He knew the buttons and started typing in a message.

Jedikiah slowly approached Stephen, though he looked toward Roger. "And I think you lost the right to call yourself my brother." He glanced toward Stephen's pocket and shook his head. 'Don't. You'll never forgive yourself if you do.'

Stephen nodded slightly and removed his hand from his pocket. He moved toward Rebecca. He did notice how hurt Jedikiah looked at Stephen's movements. He didn't trust himself to believe Jedikiah was really here.

Jedikiah looked toward Roger before Roger teleported out. He backed away from Stephen and sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. No one could miss how miserable he looked.

A moment later, several agents arrived. A couple of the agents stared disbelieving at Jedikiah, alive and well. They were waved away by the Founder. "Rebecca, call Dr. Carter. I think he will want to personally come and check out this new development."

Rebecca nodded and left the room to make the call.

Jedikiah reached for Stephen, but lowered his hand when Stephen backed away again. He shook his head, tears in his eyes. "I don't know what I did, Stephen, but please, don't shut me out?"

"What you did? You died, Jed!" Stephen leaned up against the wall. "You died and left me here alone." The last words were whispered.

The Founder just watched as this unfolded. He finally decided to speak. "Jedikiah, you can't blame Stephen for this. He's been without you for six months. They were not easy months."

Jedikiah frowned as he looked at the Founder, then back to Stephen. "I didn't know."

The Founder frowned. "What is the last thing you remember?"

Jedikiah looked up at the Founder. "I was really sick. Stephen was reading to me. I fell asleep. I remember dreaming about the story. I was searching for something, but I can't remember what. Then I woke up and Roger was there with me. He told me I had been in limbo. I know we had theorized about it and he tried to find it. He told me that he managed to get me unstuck in time. He did say that I shouldn't see Stephen yet, not until he could explain things, but I had to." He looked over at Stephen. "I had to. I had to know you were okay. He left the room and I slipped away. I came here immediately. He didn't tell me how long I had been gone."

The Founder looked toward Stephen, then back to Jedikiah. He didn't look convinced.

Stephen was silent for a moment before speaking. "What's your safe word?"

Jedikiah smiled faintly. "Strawberry." He looked up at Stephen.

Stephen's breath caught, then he managed to take another, and then another. "I still don't believe this."

Jedikiah stood up and slowly approached Stephen, hands up, while speaking. "We started seeing each other two months before you graduated from high school. When you found out I had leukemia, you were pissed at me for not telling you. Roger found out about us and was a complete ass, which led me to telling you everything that Ultra does, which led to me being a complete idiot and taking fourteen pills. You saved my life that day. We're married. We got married at St. Luke's down the street. You wanted a church wedding. Pastor Marshall was the only one who would do it. We wrote our own vows. You wanted a family, Stephen. You wanted to adopt a child and that damned near destroyed us." He stood before Stephen now. "It's me. It's really me."

Stephen didn't need the last comment. He broke at the mention of a family. "If you hadn't been sick..."

"I would have adopted Ashleigh for you. I would have adopted any child for you. More than one. As many as you wanted. We would have bought that house and raised those kids together." Jedikiah kept his hands up and they were caught by Stephen as he pulled the man toward him, finding his lips and crashing his own against them.

The Founder stepped out of the room. After a few moments, Dr. Carter walked in and stopped. His jaw dropped as he saw Jedikiah firmly locked in Stephen's arms.

They had broken the kiss and Jedikiah had rested his head on Stephen's shoulder. He looked over as Dr. Carter entered. He sighed and pulled away from Stephen. He sat on the bed and looked resigned to being poked and prodded.

Stephen followed and sat behind Jedikiah. He watched Dr. Carter. "It's him."

Dr. Carter just shook his head. "I thought Rebecca was just pulling a mean prank. I didn't believe her." He moved to stand in front of Jedikiah, beginning to check him out. He felt for a pulse and it was there. He shook his head again. "I'd like him in the infirmary. I'll want to run a whole series of tests, including genetic testing to determine if it is indeed him."

Jedikiah turned his head to look questioningly at Stephen. He looked back to Dr. Carter at Stephen's nod. He nodded as well.

Stephen reached out and took Dr. Carter's arm and teleported the three of them. There were several screams when they arrived and Jedikiah was seen. Marla was among them as she had accepted the job that morning.

The only one of them that dared to touch him was Marla. She walked over to him, touched his arm, then slapped him hard on the cheek. She ignored the shouts of alarm. "You son of a bitch! How dare you hurt Stephen like this and then come walking back into his life like nothing happened!"

Jedikiah had landed on his ass as a result of the slap he was completely unprepared for. He stared up at Marla in shock. He tried to speak several times before he found his voice. "It wasn't my choice."

Stephen helped Jedikiah up. "It's hard to explain. Very hard. Apparently, I put him into a state of being called Limbo without knowing it."

Jedikiah looked at Stephen sharply with a frown. He started to say something, but Stephen placed a finger on his lips.

"She knows, baby. Luca broke out and I explained things. I had to. She wouldn't have believed Luca chose to intern here." Stephen shrugged.

Jedikiah nodded, then looked to Marla. "I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you any of this. I know Stephen wanted to tell you, but our rules say to keep things quiet."

Marla seemed to consider this, then turned and walked away without another word. She returned with several items for Dr. Carter. She did the blood draw, then the cheek swab. When she left with the tubes and swab, she didn't return.

Jedikiah finally relaxed a little once Stephen seemed more comfortable with the situation. He found Stephen's hand and smiled a bit as their fingers intertwined before turning serious. "Stephen, if I'm not me, I don't want to know. I remember everything from my life and I do not want to lose that. I don't want to lose you."

Stephen stayed silent though he nodded. He watched Dr. Carter run physical tests before he left. Only when they were alone and after about ten minutes of silence, did he speak. "Jed, I can't go through this again. I can't. I love you so damned much and I can't go through losing you again." He had to stop speaking when his voice broke.

Jedikiah sighed, but nodded. "I know." He was about to say something else when Dr. Carter walked back in. They both looked at him.

Dr. Carter looked at Jedikiah over the rim of his glasses. "I can't speak for the genetic testing, but as far as I can tell, you're you. The blood count shows an elevated white cell count. I'll be honest, it's lower than it has been during recent periods of activity."

Jedikiah raised a brow. "Well, that's good."

Dr. Carter shook his head. "I don't know, Dr. Price. I've never examined a living man that I pronounced dead six months ago."

Jedikiah sighed. "Fair enough."

Dr. Carter raised a brow. "We're going to have to wait for the rest of the tests, and I need to do a bone marrow biopsy."

Jedikiah grumbled, but nodded. "Fine, but this time, don't count to three first." He pointed at Dr. Carter. "You did it on two last time."

Dr. Carter smiled faintly. "Because you tensed up on three the time before."

Jedikiah snorted. "Because you used a bigger needle that time." He tried to look indignant, but it fell short when they both chuckled. "Fine. I won't tense up."

Dr. Carter nodded and left the room.

Jedikiah looked at Stephen. "Will you stay?" He'd never asked that before.

Stephen looked a little surprised by the request. "Jed, I..." He sighed. "I don't know if it's a good idea. I don't know if any of this is a good idea." He pulled his hand away. "I just need time to figure this out."

Jedikiah teared up as he watched Stephen back away from him. "Okay." His voice trembled, revealing it was anything but.

Stephen backed out of the room, leaning up against the wall just outside. He began shaking then. He felt hands pulling him away and didn't care. He was taken to another room and told to lay down.

Marla went to her son's side and sat next to him. She smoothed his hair back while Stephen broke down and started crying.

"I can't do this again. I just can't." Stephen looked up at his mother. "I can't lose him again."

Marla nodded. "I know, Stephen. Whatever you choose to do, I will support your decision."

Stephen curled up and cried. He didn't know what to do. He was unprepared for John's questioning probe. He sent a quick recap of what was happening and felt John's pure shock at the situation.

'How?'

'Ask Roger if you can find him. He was behind it. I don't understand it, but apparently I stopped time for Jed at the moment of his death. Roger brought him back.'

'I want to see him, Stephen. I want to know for certain that he is who he seems to be.'

'We're in the infirmary at the moment and how would you know?'

'Can't you tell? You knew his mind just as I did.'

'He's confused all of us so far. Me, Rebecca, even the Founder.'

'Maybe he is legit, but I can ask him to share with me everything he shared before. If he does, then it's really him. If he can't, or misses anything, then I wouldn't trust him.'

'Okay. I'll let you know when he gets home. I can't be there right now, John. I don't know what to think about all of this. I can't go through this again.'

'Stephen, if it's him, he is going to need you. I don't think he can survive without you. You weren't doing so well without him either.'

'There's more to it, John. I still love him. Seeing him suffer and die a second time will kill me. It won't just tear me up. It will kill me.'

'Are you going to hurt me if I stay with Jedikiah if he needs me to? I'm not talking about sex, Stephen. Just someone there to be with him.'

'No.'

Stephen did take Jedikiah back to the apartment. He grabbed a few things while Jedikiah watched him with tears in his eyes.

"Stephen, please, don't go?" Jedikiah had been told to rest, but he refused to lay down. He was sitting on the bed instead.

"I can't stay here, Jed. I'm sorry. I just can't. Not right now. John is coming over. He wants to see you." Stephen looked toward the door, then back to Jedikiah. "I do love you, baby, but I just need some time."

"You once told me you would never leave, Stephen. After everything that's happened today, I really need you here with me." Jedikiah chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the carpet. He closed his eyes as he heard Stephen's footsteps heading out of the room.

Stephen settled down on the hotel bed. He wasn't happy about things, but he didn't know what to do. He was almost asleep just from exhaustion when John broke into his thoughts.

'He didn't miss a single thing, Stephen. It's him.'

'Okay.'

'He needs you, Stephen. He really needs you. He's been crying non stop since you left here.'

'I can't right now, John. I can't do this again.'

'Then don't get mad at me if I'm here for him the way you should be.'

'What?'

'You know what I mean, Stephen.'

Stephen was silent for a long moment. 'Fine. I'm coming home.' He got up and got dressed. 'I'll be a few minutes though.'

Stephen teleported into the bedroom. Jedikiah immediately tensed, expecting Stephen to leave again.

John looked at Stephen, raising a brow. 'Staying this time?'

Stephen nodded to John, but made no move to approach Jedikiah.

John nodded back and left the room before teleporting out.

Stephen crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn't look at Jedikiah. "You're right. I told you I wouldn't leave. I also told you that I might need time on occasion to figure things out. This is one of those times."

Jedikiah sat up and took a deep breath before resting his hand on Stephen's arm. "And there are times that I need you more than ever. Right now is one of those times. While I want you to hold me down and fuck me into the mattress harder than you've ever done before, I understand that you need space. Just don't leave right now. I can stay in the other room. I just need to know that you're here. With me."

Stephen looked down at the hand on his arm. "I spent six months in hell thinking you were dead, Jed. I cried myself to sleep every fucking night. Now you're here. I just don't know what to think. Part of me is convinced I'm dreaming. The other part of me is convinced I'm still hallucinating and I'm projecting that to everyone around me."

"John saw me and you weren't here when he got here." Jedikiah reasoned.

"Maybe it passed through when I talked to him earlier." Stephen shrugged. "I don't know."

Jedikiah nodded. "I'll go stay in the other room." He started to get up but was stopped by Stephen's hand on his chest, pressing him back down on the bed.

"No. You'll rest better in here." Stephen moved slightly so he could look at Jedikiah better. He began to unbutton Jedikiah's shirt. "But you need to be comfortable first."

Jedikiah seemed surprised at Stephen's shift in behavior. He lay there passively, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He couldn't stop the whimper that escaped when Stephen's hands found his skin and didn't pull away. He moved only when Stephen needed him to and found himself undressed in a matter of minutes. Stephen had stripped him down completely. He couldn't hide how the attention was affecting him. What he didn't expect was Stephen taking him in hand and stroking him. "Stephen." The word was gasped out. He closed his eyes, then shouted at wet heat enveloped him.

Stephen couldn't resist. He'd never been able to resist Jedikiah. He knew this would happen the minute he came back. They'd end up here. After the first uncontrolled thrust, Stephen pulled back completely. He sighed as he looked at Jedikiah. "Have you already forgotten how to behave?"

"Sorry." Jedikiah smiled faintly. At Stephen's raised brow, he added a soft, "sir," to that. When Stephen nodded, he relaxed. He felt Stephen's hands guiding him to his stomach and he rolled over willingly. He closed his eyes when he felt those hands on his back. He whimpered when Stephen found a knot in his shoulder and worked at it to get it to relax out.

Stephen smiled faintly at the whimper. He knew Jedikiah hadn't been expecting this, even if he had. He reached over to the bedside table and pulled out some oil and lube. He put the lube on the bed before pouring a bit of the oil into his palm. He set it down then rubbed his hands together before working on Jedikiah's back again. He heard the soft moan that sounded when the oil was added.

Jedikiah sighed softly with a smile. He enjoyed the affection that Stephen showed him. It hadn't been this way with any other dom he'd been with. Only Stephen wanted to take care of him rather than wanting Jedikiah to take care of him first. He whined as Stephen hit another sore muscle.

"You okay, baby?" Stephen frowned down at Jedikiah.

"I'm good." Jedikiah shifted position slightly. "Better than good, actually. I didn't expect this. I just wanted you to stay here tonight." He sighed and settled down.

Stephen leaned down and kissed the nape of Jedikiah's neck. "When I gave in and came back, I knew this would happen. I never could keep my hands off of you." He picked up the lube and coated his fingers. He slid one to tease Jedikiah's hole. He lightly bit Jedikiah's shoulder at the whimper that sounded. He didn't tease for long before he slid one finger in, working it gently.

Jedikiah bit his lip and moaned. He wanted to push back, but held still. He'd been admonished once for moving and as much as he enjoyed punishment, right now, he wanted the closeness more. He swallowed hard as a second finger slid in. It was hard to keep still now. He had to remain aware of what his body wanted to do and counteract that. He lost the fight when Stephen's fingers brushed up against his prostate. He rocked his hips back toward those fingers while his back arched and he shouted.

Stephen chuckled at the movement. He kept his fingers teasing at that specific spot that kept Jedikiah from staying still. After working three fingers in, he pulled back and pulled Jedikiah on to his back. He maintained eye contact as he positioned himself and slid into his husband. Once he was in as deep as he could go, he leaned down and kissed Jedikiah.

Jedikiah wrapped his legs around Stephen's waist and his arms around his shoulders. He returned the soft kiss with one of his own. He rocked upward and was rewarded with a gentle thrust that brought a soft cry from him.

Stephen kept things slow and gentle at first. He knew he wouldn't last if he went any faster right now. He ignored the urging from Jedikiah and kept things slow. Only when he felt the urgency in his own body did he pick things up. When he whispered for Jedikiah to come, he felt the other man spill between them and heard his cry. He followed after, letting Jedikiah's orgasm milk his own out of him. He moved off of Jedikiah afterward, laying on his side. He didn't often be the one held, but tonight, he rested his head on Jedikiah's chest and just listened to his heartbeat.

Jedikiah wrapped his arms around Stephen. He frowned when he felt the trembling. "What's wrong?"

"Just wondering when I'm going to wake up. You're never here when I finally wake up." Stephen's voice broke and he couldn't stop the tears. He felt one of Jedikiah's arms tighten around him and the other running fingers through his hair.

"I'll still be here, Stephen. I'm not going anywhere." Jedikiah tried to calm Stephen. "I'm not going anywhere." He kissed Stephen's forehead. "I promise."

Stephen shook his head slightly. "Don't make promises you may not be able to keep, baby." He clung to Jedikiah before he finally slipped into sleep.

When Stephen woke, he had a moment of panic when he was alone in bed and it increased when he realized he was not at home. He was strapped down to a bed in the infirmary. He began struggling against the restraints. His cries of anger, frustration, and anguish brought on multiple visitors.


	11. Chapter 11

Two nurses arrived first. A third came bearing a needle filled with a sedative which was injected into an IV that Stephen hadn't noticed. When Stephen had stopped struggling, Dr. Carter was called in.

When Stephen saw Dr. Carter, he only had one question. "Where's Jed?"

Dr. Carter frowned at Stephen, then sighed. "Stephen, Jedikiah has been dead for the past six months. You had a psychotic break. You were in such distress that both Rebecca and the Founder went to see what was going on. They found you claiming that Jedikiah was there. You became near violent when they told you he wasn't. I was called and had to sedate you to get you here. We've had you under observation since."

The Founder chose that moment to stop by. He merely raised a brow at the doctor and got a quick exit from the man. The Founder sat in a chair facing Stephen. "I was wrong, Stephen. Your father wasn't behind this. You were. When I put the block in, it reflected everything back. Your desire to believe this was all a nightmare caused you to believe he was really there. You were screaming for me, Rebecca, and John. All three of us showed up." He shook his head at Stephen's expression. "I let John go. I was more concerned about you. I honestly did not know things were this bad, Stephen."

Stephen relaxed at that. He nodded. "I hate to say it, but I think I may be falling in love with John." He could not talk about Jedikiah right now. He really couldn't. To talk about him might make him lose his mind again.

The Founder nodded once. "I know, Stephen. I am concerned about that. You lost Jedikiah. You aren't handling it well. If you lost John too, we might lose you permanently. Right now, even I have to admit, you're broken. We will do what we can to help you, but you need to work with us. Dr. Carter wants you on antidepressants and I believe it could help. What he's not sure of is how any of them will affect you."

"If John came back, would you let him?" Stephen ignored everything else.

"Provided he answers all questions asked of him, then of course he can return." The Founder leaned back in his chair.

"Even if he told you where the rest of them were, they still wouldn't be there. They'll have moved by that point. If he comes back, it would be for me. He won't betray the others." Stephen's words started to slur and his eyelids started to droop.

"I know, Stephen." The Founder stood up then. "Rest now. We'll talk again later."

Stephen was asleep before the Founder left the room.

When Stephen was released, it was only because Rebecca assured Dr. Carter she would not leave Stephen alone. Once she had Stephen home, and after watching him search the place for signs of Jedikiah and not finding any, she contacted John.

'He's back home, John.'

'Do you want me to drop in?'

'I don't know how he'll take it, but I don't know how it can hurt.'

John teleported in before she had finished the final word. He nodded as she pointed toward the bathroom. He went toward the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door.

"I'm fine, Rebecca." Stephen called out.

"Stephen..." John didn't even get to speak again before the door was opened and Stephen came out. He took hold of John's arm and dragged him into his bedroom and closed the door. John was surprised, but didn't complain.

When the door was closed, Stephen crossed to the bed and sat down. "Were you here?"

John raised a brow and sat next to Stephen. "Yeah. The Founder let me go. I have to admit I was shocked by that, but he did."

Stephen nodded. "He said he was responsible for what happened. Rebecca found a memory that led her to believe my father did something to me so that I would manifest Jed. He put a block in, but it wasn't my father. It was me. Everything reflected back on me."

John frowned and took Stephen's hand. "Stephen, he would have known the moment he got in your mind. He's a very strong telepath. Stronger than Rebecca. He would have known that it was all you."

Stephen looked down at their hands, then back up to John. "Why would he have put in a block then?"

John shook his head. "I don't know."

Stephen looked toward the door, then back to John. "Any guesses?"

John sighed, then shrugged. His other hand joined the first and began to rub the back of Stephen's hand. "He wants you unbalanced, maybe. I really don't know."

Stephen let John rub his hand. "But why?"

"How close are you to him right now?" John saw when Stephen started thinking the same way.

"So, he screws with me to keep me close." Stephen nodded. "I should have known. He screwed me over once already."

"Promising you memories in exchange for me." John looked away. "I haven't forgiven you for that, but I understand why you did it."

"I told you. I didn't want to do it." Stephen sighed and pulled his hand away. "If I could do it over again, I'd have said no."

John let Stephen pull away. "I know." He rested his hand on Stephen's shoulder. "I do know that. It's why I haven't left completely. I know you know how Jedikiah was with manipulation, but Stephen, the Founder could pull one over on Jedikiah. He often did. Jed learned it all from him."

Stephen didn't pull away. Instead, he looked surprised. "I didn't know that."

John seemed surprised. "I thought you would have known that. I thought you would have seen that in Jedikiah's memories." He shook his head. "It's clear the Founder is manipulating you, but I don't know for what purpose. You said you were following orders. Maybe that's why he did it. Just to make sure you would follow orders."

Stephen nodded. "When he put the block in, I saw that. He just wanted to know if I would follow orders. He knew about... that time. He didn't care. He just wanted to make sure I'd follow orders. He knew I set up the power outage that gave you the edge to break free. He didn't care."

John ran his hand down Stephen's arm and took his hand again. "It sounds like he's trying to make you dependent on him. You can't let him do that, Stephen."

A knock sounded on the door. "Stephen?" Rebecca called out. "Your mother just called me. Your phone is out here. She wants to come over."

Stephen sighed. "Fine." He called back. He looked at John, then spoke softer. "If I don't let her, I'll never hear the end of it." He shrugged helplessly.

John smiled a bit and nodded. "You're lucky you have her here."

Stephen shook his head. "When I found out about the leukemia, Jedikiah was called in." He saw John's nod and knew he remembered that. "He asked me to run if anything happened to him. He never explained that and I never that memory. I don't suppose he shared anything about that."

John shook his head with a surprised look. "No. I never knew he asked you to run."

"Could it be because of the Founder?" Stephen trembled a little. He felt John's hand tighten around his own.

"It's possible. Stephen, the Founder is not someone I know all that well. Jedikiah knew him best and if he told you to run, then, I hate to say it, you probably should." John sighed. "But doing so would cause all kinds of problems. He'd probably have Rebecca killed, not to mention your mom and brother." He saw Stephen's flinch. "All the memories that he showed you, how sure are you that they're real?"

Stephen shrugged. "They felt real. I remember seeing a bit of some of them through Jed, so I don't believe they were false memories. Did Jed ever talk about his past with you?"

John shook his head. "No. I asked him about it before but he never answered."

"He was a foster child. That much I know is true." Stephen sighed. "I think I'm going to be doing some research, but I can't do it at work."

"Why not?"

"The Founder could have it locked down." Stephen shrugged. "I'd rather him not be alerted to the fact that I don't believe anything he's told me anymore."

John nodded. "Okay, tell me what he told you. I'll do the research and let you know what I find. That way, you're clear." At Stephen's hesitation, John spoke again. "Stephen, I'm not going to do anything underhanded."

Stephen held eye contact with John for a long moment before nodding. He let the memory go of what the Founder had told him about Jedikiah's past.

John closed his eyes for the duration. Several minutes after it was over, he finally spoke. "That explains why he was so protective of me at first. I was in foster care when he found me. There were several of us. I had to steal food because the man we were with spent all the money he had on booze. When I went back to get the other boys out, I decided I was going to try and kill the bastard. I didn't know that, at the time, I wasn't able to. Jedikiah had an agent bring him to me. He was just in time too. He killed that bastard only seconds before he was going to kill me." John looked up at Stephen. "He made sure the other kids were taken care of before leaving with me." He shook his head. "He called the police and left an anonymous tip. We were out of the way before the police got there. We stayed hidden to watch. After the other boys were out, he asked me to teleport us back. I did. That was when I decided I wanted to volunteer for the Annex Project."

"Why?" Stephen shook his head. "I never liked that project. Jed wouldn't let me volunteer even if I'd wanted to."

"He didn't want me doing it, but I didn't listen. I was determined that no one would be able to hurt either of us and that I didn't have to rely on him to keep us both safe. I wanted to be the protector." John shrugged. "What I didn't know was how dangerous it was. He made sure I understood the risks and he begged me to reconsider. I still did it. He wouldn't let anyone else control the injections. When I came out alive, he actually cried once we were alone."

Stephen smiled faintly and nodded. "I can believe that." He sighed and the smile disappeared. "I was nearly killed chasing down a breakout. He was unaware of the Prime Barrier and shot at me twice. One bullet punctured my lung. Long story short, the senior agent got me back to the infirmary and called Jedikiah. We weren't really together at that time. I was still in high school. It was a month before graduation. He still refused to leave my side until he knew I was going to be okay. My mom screamed at him for about an hour afterward." He couldn't stop the small smile that broke out.

John even smiled a bit. "Care to share that? Your mom screaming at Jed? Doesn't seem possible." He closed his eyes as the memory flowed from Stephen.


	12. Chapter 12

_Stephen opened his eyes in the infirmary. He was confused at first, not knowing why he'd woken up, until he heard the shouting from outside. The door was cracked open, so he couldn't hear everything, but when he lifted his head and looked out the window, he saw his mother and Jedikiah. She was angry and poking him in the chest with one finger while shouting up at him. He looked helpless, hands open and to either side, trying to convey innocence in the entire situation. From the look of things, he was barely able to get a word in edgewise._

_Stephen watched this go on for a few minutes before Marla pulled her hand back before slapping Jedikiah full out on the cheek, then pushing him away. She went into Stephen's room and sat with him in silence. Stephen hadn't really acknowledged her. He was watching Jedikiah._

_Jedikiah was watching from the window, his cheek already bruising from the slap. He was watching Stephen, making eye contact with him. He ignored the nurse that was trying to press a cold pack to his cheek. He finally took it and held it there._

_Stephen didn't look away from Jedikiah, but spoke to his mother. "Why did you do that?"_

_"He deserved it, Stephen. You were nearly killed when you were at work here." Marla looked out the window and glared at Jedikiah._

_Stephen didn't respond at first. He continued watching Jedikiah. The thought came through clearly. 'I told her you were in a mugging gone wrong. Your wallet was removed from your personal items to make it more believable.' Stephen would have nodded, but he shook his head instead. "He didn't shoot me, so I don't see how it's his fault." He looked at his mother then._

_"He's supposed to watch over you when you're here." Marla argued._

_"He's my boss. Not my babysitter." Stephen sighed and looked back at Jedikiah._

_"He's your boss and I'm trusting him with you. He doesn't pay you for the work you do here. You're just an intern. An intern shouldn't end up shot, Stephen."_

_"And how is it his fault? I wasn't even in the building when it happened. I was running an errand. I was jumped." Stephen didn't look away from Jedikiah._

_Jedikiah finally walked into the room and sat on the opposite side of the bed from Marla. He didn't speak._

_Marla glared at Jedikiah. "Get out. You have no business being here."_

_"He's my..." Jedikiah started._

_"Don't you dare, Jedikiah. Don't you even dare." Marla kept her voice low._

_"Dare what? If it weren't for us, he might have bled out in that alley. We got him here and they saved his life." Jedikiah pointed out the door._

_Marla stood up and pointed at Jedikiah. "You should have been watching him better!"_

_Jedikiah stayed seated. "Marla, Stephen is going to be fine. If I had known he was going to be shot, I wouldn't have asked him to run to the lab."_

_Marla shook her head. "You have a lab here. Do better."_

_Jedikiah leaned back, removing the cold pack to readjust it and replace it. "Not all samples are taken here. We do have several labs that provides us with samples that need testing."_

_Stephen closed his eyes and just listened to them go back and forth. Marla finally left after telling Jedikiah that if anything like this happened again, she'd kill him. He opened his eyes then and looked at Jedikiah. "Scared?"_

_"Of your mother?" Jedikiah waited for the confirmation in a nod. "Absolutely terrified." The corners of his mouth turned upward slightly._

_Stephen just shook his head. "You're horrible." The small, but growing smile took the bite out of his words._

_"You have no idea." Jedikiah smiled back before shaking his head. "Besides, it would be a lot worse for me if she knew about our mutual attraction."_

_There was a flash that Stephen picked up from Jedikiah of lust, but also amusement. Stephen didn't comment. He was pretty sure that Jedikiah thought of this as a game. "Yeah, it would be." At least Jedikiah was attracted to him._

_Jedikiah chuckled and readjusted the cold pack. "I really don't blame her. She's a lioness protecting her cub. The most dangerous creature in all of the world."_

_Stephen caught another flash from Jedikiah. This time, it was love. He watched Jedikiah for a moment before realizing that the man didn't seem to understand what he was feeling. He didn't comment about it. "Yeah, I guess so." He smiled and held out a hand._

_Jedikiah took it and laced their fingers together. "Just so you know, you're officially on medical leave. Until you've recovered, there's nothing for you to do. You do have finals coming up, so you might as well study while you're in here."_

_"Oh, great. Kill the mood here with mentions of studying." Stephen shook his head with a smile. He shifted position slightly so he could look at Jedikiah better. "How's your cheek?"_

_"Stings." Jedikiah removed the cold pack completely. It was bruised, but it didn't look that bad._

Stephen pulled the memory back down and watched John. He hadn't started crying, but there were tears in his eyes.

John opened his eyes and looked at Stephen. He shook his head. "Your mom is scary."

Stephen smiled faintly and nodded. "That wasn't the first time she laid down the law with him either. It was, however, the only time she hit him."

"Remind me not to do anything to piss her off." John commented as the front door was opened.

"Speaking of, she's here. You might want to get out of here for a while. I'm sure she's going to be all motherly on me for a while." Stephen shrugged.

John frowned, but nodded with a sigh. "Okay. I don't like it, but okay."

They both looked over as the door opened and Marla stepped in. She hesitated when she saw John sitting there, and was about to back out when John stood up.

"I was just about to go." John turned to Stephen. "Call me if you need me." He hesitated again, then leaned down and kissed Stephen's cheek. He left the apartment before teleporting out in the elevator.

Marla raised both brows at Stephen after the kiss. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Stephen shook his head. "He's a friend, mom. That's all."

Marla shook her head. "Didn't look like that. You might see him as just a friend, but I think he wants more." She moved to sit on the bed next to Stephen.

"I know he does. He also knows I can't give that right now." Stephen lay back on the bed. "I don't think I'll ever be able to give that to anyone."

Marla reached over and touched Stephen's arm. "I know you think that right now."

"Mom, I just went through hell. Okay? Right now is not a good time to try giving me a pep talk about how things will get better. They haven't. They've gotten worse."

"I don't know all of what happened, but Dr. Carter told me you were hallucinating."

"That's putting it mildly. I came home and he was here. Jed was here. I fell asleep here with him and when I woke up, I was in the infirmary and told I had a psychotic episode. It felt so real." Stephen didn't care if the tears were flowing free now. He just closed his eyes.

Marla took Stephen's hand and gave it a light squeeze before getting up and walking out to talk to Rebecca.

Stephen turned on the bed to grab the extra pillow. When he pulled it toward him to curl up with it, he stopped and frowned. He opened his eyes and saw a few strands of blond hair and could smell Jedikiah there. He took a deep breath and calmly called for Rebecca.

Rebecca came in and looked at Stephen before crossing to his side. "What is it?"

"I don't know if I'm really seeing this." Stephen motioned to the pillow. "Is there hair on the pillow?"

Rebecca looked and ran a hand over it. "No." She watched Stephen's nod and saw him relax a bit. She understood then. "Stephen, I wish you'd let someone stay in here with you tonight."

Stephen shook his head. "I can't. No one can. This was his place. No one else can take it."

Rebecca sighed. "Stephen, he's not coming back. Saving that place for him will not help you heal. You don't have to share the bed for sex, but at least let someone else there to sleep. Just for tonight. Please?"

Stephen hesitated, then nodded. "Okay. I'll ask John." After Rebecca left the room, Stephen called for John. 'John, can you come back?'

'Sure. Should I teleport or use the door?'

'Door.'


	13. Chapter 13

Stephen heard the knock on the door a half hour later and heard his mother's voice, but not the words. He had settled in the bed and held a tablet.

John finally walked into the bedroom. He raised a brow with a hand on the door. At Stephen's nod, he closed the door. He went to sit next to Stephen. "Working?"

"Kind of. Can't find all the bananas." Stephen swiped a finger on the tablet screen.

John looked confused. "Bananas?"

"Angry Birds." Stephen shrugged. "Rebecca doesn't want me working right now. She took my work tablet away and gave me this one. It's got a selection of games, but none of them are really all that relaxing. They're frustrating."

John chuckled, then took the tablet from Stephen and set it aside. "Why did you call me back?"

"Rebecca wants someone to stay in here with me. I don't feel comfortable with anyone sleeping in here really, but I guess less so with you."

"Are you asking me to spend the night?" John smiled faintly.

Stephen nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am. I can't promise anything other than sleep, though."

John nodded. "I'm okay with that. I can do just sleep. If you want, I'll use the floor."

Stephen shook his head. "She wants me to let someone else in the bed." He touches the bed next to him. "In Jed's place. I don't want to, but she told me I needed to. I couldn't think of anyone else to ask."

John looked at the empty place, then back at Stephen. "Are you sure?"

Stephen shook his head. "No, but she didn't give me a choice. She said it had to happen for me to accept that Jed is gone and not coming back." His voice broke a little on the end. "As if living I he'll the past few months haven't convinced me he's gone, now I have to give up his place in bed to someone else." He started crying. He didn't even notice when John moved up next to him and pulled him into a hug.

'Damn you, Rebecca.' John was furious about this.

'What?'

'Stephen's been through enough without you telling him he has to let someone else into his and Jed's bed. I told you he was not going to recover and you may have set him back by this.'

'He has to accept that Jed is gone...'

'You don't think he knows that? Rebecca, he's a fucking mess!'

'Sometimes you have to push hard to get someone to accept things.'

'Who told you to push him? The Founder? The Founder would have realized that Stephen was doing this to himself, so why did he put that block in place? That was the direct cause of Stephen's breakdown, Rebecca. The Founder wants him broken beyond all repair. Only then can he shape Stephen into whatever the hell he wants.'

'Why do you say that?'

'Know any other reason that makes sense?'

Rebecca was silent for a moment before responding. 'You may have a point.'

'May? I'm right and you know it, Rebecca. The more you push him, the further he breaks. The last thing he needs is for someone else sleeping in Jed's place. If he doesn't want me to stay, I won't. If he asks me to stay, without it coming from you, then I will.' John ignored further comments from Rebecca. Instead, he sat with Stephen, curled up next to him, while they played games on the tablet.

A couple hours later, Stephen started to yawn. His eyelids drooped and he started dozing off. John watched him for a few moments before bringing him back to wakefulness. "I need to know. Do you want me to stay? Not because Rebecca said so, but do you yourself want me to stay?"

Stephen was silent for a moment, then nodded once. "Yeah, I think I do. She's right. If I keep that place for Jed only, then I'll never be able to even have a chance at moving on. I just... Well... Don't be mad at me if I call you Jed tonight. With lights off, it's not...."

John reached over and put his hand over Stephen's mouth. "Hush. I'll stay, and I won't be angry if you forget it's me. It's the first time you've had anyone in here that's not him. Just promise to try not to freak out when you realize it's me and not him?"

Stephen nodded and mumbled something against John's hand. When John removed his hand, Stephen tried again. "Okay. I'll try."

They both got ready for bed. Stephen used the bathroom first and came out with his pants still on, but no shirt. When John went into the bathroom, Stephen slipped out of his pants and climbed into bed. He was a little tense about letting John into the bed, but also a little excited about it. His stomach was doing flip flops but not unpleasantly.

John came out from the bathroom in just his boxers and turned off the light. He switched the main light off, leaving just the light from the small lamp next to Stephen. He crossed the room and hesitated before sitting down where Jedikiah normally would have been. He lay down and turned to look at Stephen.

Stephen swallowed hard, then leaned toward John and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. He felt the surprise from John, then the hands pushing him back.

"Stephen, we don't need to do this." John was confused, but also clearly interested in continuing.

"I know, but I want to." Stephen sighed as he turned on his back. "I've been doing what others have suggested I do. For once, I want to do something that I want to." He closed his eyes.

John thought about this for a moment before leaning in and kissing Stephen. He pulled back to look down at the younger man. "Tell me what you and Jed would do? He was your sub. What would he let you do to him?"

Stephen seemed confused at the subject, but he didn't question it. "Umm, well, he liked to push me at times so I would be rough with him. Sometimes he knew he was pissing me off and kept at it until we got home." His breath caught when John's mouth began working over his collarbone. "I'd usually bind his hands behind his back and bend him over the bed." He fell silent when John's mouth latched on and sucked at his left nipple.

John pulled back. "That's why you grabbed my wrists before?" After Stephen's nod, John smiled slightly. "What would you do to him when you had him bound and bent over the bed?"

"Sometimes I'd spank him for being so bad. Sometimes I'd tease him." Stephen hissed in pleasure when John returned to sucking at his nipple. "He enjoyed it. Always begged so nicely for me to fuck him afterward." His hand ran through John's hair. "He liked it rough. Wanted me to push him to the edge, then over." He lifted his head and looked down at John. "Why did you ask?"

"Because he always topped me. I never knew his submissive side." John looked up at Stephen. "I've never liked being tied down, but a lot of that comes from wanting to be able to run. I've never thought about being spanked, but I might want to try it."

Stephen pulled John up then and kissed him. "If you'll trust me, I can show you how good it can be." He felt John's nod as their lips found each other's again.

John finally pulled away. "I trust you, Stephen." He closed his eyes as Stephen's hands began to push him back, then down on the bed.

"We can work our way up to the more intense stuff." Stephen ran his hands over John's arms. "You need a safe word. Something easy for you to remember. If you use it, I'll stop whatever I'm doing."

John nodded. "Umm, red?"

Stephen chuckled, but nodded. "That'll work for now, but later, when I beat your ass red, you might want something different." He leaned down and mouthed along John's jawline.

John let out a small whimper at the thought of being spanked. "I don't know if I want to wait for that."

Stephen shook his head. "Rebecca is still out there. The only reason they let me come home was because she said she'd stay. They'll know if she leaves."

"She won't say anything, Stephen." John gasped as Stephen's hand slipped down to his ass and squeezed lightly. "She'll probably just go out on the balcony and ignore us."

Stephen nodded then. "Okay, but if she makes any comments tomorrow, you will pay for it later. Think of another safe word." He nipped at John's neck.

John moaned at the nip, then closed his eyes. "Eagle." He bit his lip as Stephen tugged at his boxers. He lifted up and they were soon gone.

"That works." Stephen licked down over John's chest, then looked up at him. "Why should I spank you?" He smirked a little as John seemed confused. "Because you're a little cock tease. You know that? Every time I've seen you since that first time, I've wanted to hold you down and fuck you so hard that you wouldn't be able to walk the next day." He leaned down and bit one of John's nipples firmly enough that it drew a hiss from the man. He pulled back and rubbed the sore nub between his thumb and forefinger. "You always looked at me like you knew what I wanted to do and it amused you. Now, when we're here, you talk about Jed. You want to be him for me now? Is that it?"

John drew in a quick breath, then shook his head. "No, but you need someone to dominate. I'm wanting to explore a bit more about myself."

Stephen lightly slapped John. Not hard enough to leave a mark. "When I ask you a question, you answer with 'Yes, sir' or 'No, sir.' Do you understand?"

John was shocked at the slap, but he didn't say his safe word. Instead, he nodded. "Yes, sir."

Stephen nodded as well. "Good. You learn fast, John." He stood up and gripped John's ankles. He twisted them until John turned over. He then pulled John to the edge of the bed, letting his legs drop.

John had to scramble to get his feet on the floor. He didn't try and stand up. He just stayed there, bent over the bed. He wasn't prepared for the first slap on his bare ass. He jerked forward, hands grabbing at the sheets, letting out a shout.

"Count." Stephen ordered as he landed a second blow.

"Two." John called out, as he rocked forward with the hit. At ten, he realized tears were streaming down his cheeks.

"Had enough?" Stephen rubbed his hands over John's pink ass. "You aren't nearly red enough."

John was silent for a few seconds, trying to guess what Stephen wanted him to say. Finally, he shook his head. "No, sir." His voice was raw from the cries already, but he hadn't lost interest. In fact, he was still rock hard.

Stephen continued rubbing John's ass for a few seconds longer before landing another blow. He heard John's count continue again. At twenty, he pulled back and looked at his handiwork. He went to the closet and pulled out a belt. He walked back to the bed and set it down. "Only if you want. If you decide you want me to use it, then pick it up and hand it to me. Understand?"

John nodded. He let out a whimper before he was able to speak softly. "Yes, sir." He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment of tenderness with Stephen massaging his sore ass. It was nice. It was more than nice. He pushed back a little and was met with another spank. He let out a moan that turned into a shout when Stephen slipped a finger between his cheeks and teased his hole lightly. He tried to push back again and the finger disappeared. Another slap landed on his ass.

"Don't move, John. Stay still." Stephen used one hand to pull John's cheeks apart and used a fingertip to tease the man. He pushed lightly against the tight ring of muscle and held the gentle pressure steady. He smirked as he watched John fighting to stay still. He finally pulled his fingertip away.

John took hold of the belt and after a minute, handed it to Stephen. The ache in his ass was going away and he didn't want it to go completely away right now. He felt Stephen take the belt without a word. He kept his eyes closed and tried to anticipate the first hit. He was way off. The belt cut the air and landed on his ass with a loud smack. He arched his back and let out a scream. The second quickly followed. By the fifth, he was used to the rhythm. He couldn't stop his hips from moving. He wanted the friction of the sheets on his cock. He needed that.

Stephen realized what John was doing. He paused and took hold of John's arms and pulled him up from the bed. He kept hold of one arm as he walked John to an empty space against the wall. He pushed John toward the wall, watching as John's hands came up reflexively. "Now, stay still." He swung the belt again, watching as it made contact with John's ass, leaving a bright red mark. "You are so fucking beautiful like this, John. Ass all nice and red." A few more lashes and he dropped the belt. "You're doing so well for a first time." He leaned up against John's back, pressing his groin against John's ass as he circled one hand around John's neck.

John turned his head and pressed his mouth against Stephen's. He moaned softly as Stephen's still clothed erection was shoved up against his raw ass. He didn't move. He was rewarded by being manhandled back to the bed and forced down. He felt Stephen move away. He heard the belt being picked up. He felt it being dropped on the bed next to him.

Stephen took John's arms and pulled them behind his back. He took the belt and bound his wrists. He felt John going tense. "It's okay, John. It's just you and me." He smiled slightly as the man relaxed. He knelt down behind John and spread his cheeks.

John shouted at the first touch of a tongue against his hole. He had never considered doing this before and now that it was happening, he couldn't believe how good it felt. After a few minutes of this, he couldn't help the small movement he made. He felt that tongue disappear and whimpered. "Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to move. Please, do that again, sir." He let out a small, contented sigh when Stephen's tongue returned as well as a finger being pushed in as well. Fingers and tongue opened him up and got him ready.

Stephen pulled away and moved to the small table. He pulled the drawer open and retrieved a condom and the lube. He removed his boxers and tore the condom wrapper open. He slid the condom on and drizzled lube on his hand, then slicked himself up. He returned to behind John and pulled his hips upward before kicking his legs open further. When John was how he wanted him, he lined up and thrust forward.

John let out a shout at the sudden penetration. He fought to keep still and surprised himself when he succeeded. Stephen's hands were tight on his hips, pulling him back when he was thrusting forward. The one time he did squirm was accompanied by a shuddering cry caused by the sudden contact with his prostate.

Stephen kept that angle before letting go of John's hip with one hand and reaching underneath him, closing his fingers around John's cock. He kept his hand still, letting his thrusts do the work. He suddenly stopped moving. At John's confused whimper, he slapped John's ass. "Move. Fuck yourself on my cock and fist."

John moved. He rocked back on that cock and forward into Stephen's fist. His breathing became erratic. "Stephen, please."

"Please what?" Stephen knew was John needed. He just wanted to hear him beg.

"I need to come, Stephen. Please, let me come." John whimpered. He'd guessed that coming without permission might not be a good idea. As if in answer, Stephen's grip on his cock tightened to a firm hold and Stephen began pounding into him. He heard Stephen's agreement and barely heard the words "come for me, John" before he was shooting his load on the floor at the foot of the bed. He barely registered as his wrists were untied and he was pulled up gently and guided into bed. He felt a warm cloth wiping him down and barely managed to open his eyes.

Stephen smiled softly at John. "You did wonderfully, John." He leaned down and kissed John softly. "Beautiful. You're so damned beautiful." He kissed the tip of John's nose and pulled back, admiring his blush at the words of praise.

John mumbled something unintelligible and tried to pull Stephen down in the bed. He grumbled as Stephen pulled away, but then sighed contentedly as the bed dipped next to him and he was pulled into a warm and protective embrace. He fell asleep, even though part of his mind was telling him to get up and get out of there.


	14. Chapter 14

John woke in restraints. He immediately began struggling against them. He didn't stop even as the Founder walked in. "You really shouldn't struggle too much. You might hurt yourself."

John narrowed his eyes. "Fuck you." He jerked hard against one of the restraints.

The Founder gave a small, cold smile. "No, I think I'll let Stephen take care of that." At John's sudden pause, he nodded. "Oh, I know all about that. I decided to come see you myself. Stephen won't be helping you this time, John. He's under heavy sedation and observation right now. He confused you for Jedikiah and fought against the agents I sent to bring you in."

John completely stopped fighting. "Obviously you want something, so talk."

The Founder nodded. "I do. I want you to come back, John. Stephen needs your influence. You've become a grounding force for him. Of course, you can say no. If you do, you will never see him again. I'll transfer you cross country where Stephen has absolutely no influence."

John was confused. "Why did you put that block in? Rumor always had it that you were a strong telepath. You should have seen that it was Stephen doing it to himself."

The Founder was silent for a long moment before answering. "I made a promise to Jedikiah, John. I promised to help Stephen as much as I could. That promise may have made me a little careless. I won't be making that mistake again."

John swallowed, then nodded. "Then we're on the same side where Stephen is concerned. Jedikiah wanted me to be there for Stephen. He shared a lot with me to share with Stephen when necessary."

The Founder shook his head. "I don't believe you. Jedikiah never would have worked with a rogue element like you."

John sighed and just sent the memory of Jedikiah asking him for help with Stephen once he was gone. He could see the Founder's shock. "Like I said, he asked me to help. I think he meant for us to be together so Stephen would recover."

The Founder just stared at John before anger flickered in his eyes. He turned and walked out. He paused by an agent. "I want him transferred. Anywhere on the west coast." The agent nodded and started to move away. The Founder reached out and grasped the agent's arm. "Accidents can happen. Should one happen on this transfer, make sure it is not you that has it." He let the agent go and went to the infirmary.

Stephen regained consciousness, though he wasn't quite sure of his surroundings. Everything had a dreamlike quality to it. He let out a soft sound that brought the face of the Founder into view. "What?" He tried to speak more.

"It's all right, Stephen. You're safe. You were hallucinating again and Rebecca had to bring you back here." The Founder sounded concerned and he even took hold of Stephen's hand.

"What about John?" Stephen managed to make that heard, even if it was a little jumbled.

"What about him?"

"He was there last night." Again, it wasn't completely clear.

"He wasn't. Stephen, you spent the night alone. Rebecca heard you screaming this morning. You were convinced that Jedikiah was dead beside you, having bled out overnight. You were convinced that you were covered in his blood." The Founder frowned and lightly squeezed Stephen's hand. "You're here now and you're safe."

Stephen was confused. He didn't remember any hallucinations other than the first one. What he did remember was a very intense night with John. He didn't argue. He just lay back and closed his eyes. He quickly fell into a drugged sleep.

Two weeks later, Stephen learned that John had been apprehended and transferred to the west coast. The only way he found this out was when he was transferred back. He took possession of the body bag, not knowing who it held. When he opened it for identification, he backed away, face white and gasping for breath. He was found moments later by Dr. Carter. He was taken to the infirmary and treated for shock.

Dr. Carter took over and contacted Rebecca. The two of them managed to piece together what had happened. John had been killed due to blunt force trauma to the chest and abdomen. The transfer had been signed by the Founder. They looked at each other and knew why. John's death was on the Founder's hands. He had been killed in order to completely break Stephen. It wasn't coincidence that Stephen had been the one to accept the transfer and start the testing either. What little hope they had for Stephen's recovery was destroyed. He was lost to them now. They knew it.

What was more important is that the Founder knew it. He was there when Stephen woke. He was the shoulder that Stephen cried on. He became Stephen's mentor. He shaped and molded Stephen into another Jedikiah Price. Only this time, the Founder was not going to let another pretty face ruin his plans again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, even I didn't see this coming. The ending wrote itself. I cannot apologize enough for ripping anyone's soul out by this.


End file.
